I will be starting dialysis this week, wish me luck. My kidney function had been going down for quite some time, but I was still functioning and ok. I had a heart catherization on October 6th of this year, I am allergic to the dye they inject and have to have an allergist with me when they do any procedure that uses it. That dye is not only lethal to me without intervention, but it is hard on the kidneys. Needless to say it was very hard on mine. It caused me to go into ESRD, aka kidney failure. I will be doing home hemodialysis, thank God. I am just not up to going to a clinic three times a week for it. The funny and ironic thing about it all is that after the heart cath, they said I really didn’t NEED it, because there were no blockages. *snort* My heart muscle is screwed up, I have an apical defect and my heart is not pumping blood well, my injection fraction is also low, they said about 2 more points lower and we would have to “start worrying more”. So that dye that has ruined my kidney function was really not needed. *sigh* It really saddens me. I almost didn’t go through with the heart catherization, now I wish I had listened to my inner voice.

I am scared, I don’t know how it is going to affect me, my body. I am already fighting CML, will dialysis make that worse? Will I be so fatigued I can’t function? Will it make my neuropathy worse? God, I hope not. I am already so weak these days as it is. I have had to cut down my on air time when I DJ, I am not online as much as I used to be. I don’t want to have to cut down more. DJing actually makes me feel productive, it makes me happy. *sighs heavily* I swear when it rains it pours.

7 Responses to “Kidneys…”

  1. 1 D
    November 17, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    I love you. I wish I could save your life on every level. I try but I guess that’s my lesson in life as well… humility. I can’t save anyone.

    I love you and for what it’s worth, it’s forever and it’s pure. I am devoted to you.

  2. November 17, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    Wow, this sounds like its really hard on you. I’m sorry to hear you have to deal with all that. How long have you had this situation?

  3. 3 V
    November 17, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    siezy: Thanks for commenting and reading my blog, I so appreciate it. It is very hard, dealing with being sick, but I trudge on as best I can. πŸ™‚ I have been fighting CML for right at 9 years now, they say the “survival rate” for CML is 9-10 years. I hope to beat those odds, we will see. The kidney problem is a new thing for me. As I said in my blog, my kidney function has been slowing going downhill the last couple of years, I attribute that to all the drugs I am on, and all the chemo and radiation I have had. They say the dye they used during my heart catherization probably sped things up and now I have to start dialysis. I am nervous and scared of the unknown, but I am really hoping everything is ok and I can deal with it without TOO many side effects. Thank you again! I hope you will continue to read my blogs, it is nice to know that people are reading it, I figured I would be writing to myself. haha Have a great night!

  4. November 17, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    You said in your about me that you’re not looking for pity. I understand where you are coming from, and in that, I’ll simply say that I can indirectly relate here. My father passed when I was 15 with lymphoma cancer. I was pretty close to him.

    I certainly will be keeping an eye here and commenting where I can. You seem like a pretty intersting person yourself, and I appreciate you reading and commenting me also. You’re the first one to have done so! haha! I know exactly what you mean about writing to yourself. Although I’m not an attention whore or anything, My writing inspiration can sometimes be limited within myself, and those who read and comment show me that I’m being heard, and that provides more inspiration to write for me.

    Take care!

    – siezy

  5. 5 D
    November 18, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    FUCK IT. I am going to give you such a reason to live! Dialysis, Shmialysis! WE will do this together and we will live, love, make love (hooyeah) and make the dang best of what we do have! HELL YEAH I’m gonna give you a good reason to live! I LOVE YOU PUPPY!

  6. 6 D
    November 18, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    *throws a biscuit* g’boy! g’boy!

  7. 7 V
    November 18, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you baby, I love you too. Your comment just made me smile really big, and you know I don’t smile big very often. πŸ˜‰ I want to live, love, and of course make love *wiggles eyebrows* haha. You are the world to me, do you know that? *rolls over for a tummy petting* hahahaha

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