18
Nov
08

Keepin’ It Light Today…

I need a light day, so nothing heavy here today.

Let’s have a discussion? What do you say?

Tell me what in your life you absolutely cannot live without, and why. Also tell me some things in your life you could live without if you had to?

Here I go:

I could first and foremost not live without my family. My wife and my daughters.Β My best friend.Β They are my life, my heart and soul. They are the bright spots in my darkness. I can’t even begin to imagine life without them. I think I would just finally wither and die.

I can’t live without my computer and internet. I am sick and can’t get out and do the things I used to do (marital arts, playing in my band, hiking, camping, working, the gym, you get the picture). The computer/internet is my window to the world. I talk to people here, I play online games, of course I blog. I think I would fall apart if I didn’t have it. I would feel so out of touch. Most of my friends are online friends, because I can’t get out and make friends in the “real world”. Not only because I am sick, but because of my autism. I am painfully shy and I have major problems with social stuff. I can’t look people in the eye, and that makes most think I am either scary or that I am a snob. I am neither. I am just AUTISTIC. Being on the internet is so much easier for me, I don’t have to worry about looking someone in the eye, I don’t have to worry about vocalizing things. The internet tends to make us lose some of our inhibitions, which can be both a good and a bad thing.

I couldn’t live without my cigarettes. HAHA, I know some of you will say, “Oh give that shit up, it’s bad for you.” I might agree, but think of this–I have given up so much to this illness, so much has been taken away from me and I don’t want to stop smoking. It is one of the few pleasures I have left. Besides, what is it going to do? Add 2 days or so onto my life? HAH. Funny.

I can’t live without my soda and my coffee. I guess I am a caffeine addict haha. I have to have my cuppa in the morning to open my eyes. I love coke as well, I drink at least 3 cans a day. It is fizzy goodness to me and makes me happy. πŸ˜‰

I absolutely could not live without music. Music has always been my life. From playing in my band, to just sitting back and listening. I relate to music, I use music to express my feelings when sometimes I can’t get it out in other ways. Music has the power to make us laugh, cry, feel angry, feel love. To me, music is the universal language. That is why I love to DJ so much, I get to sit and listen to great music, I get to play tunes requested by my listeners, I get to interact with the listeners on IM’s. It is just great. Music has also gotten me through the abuse I have suffered my whole life, and it’s gotten me through my illness thus far.

Things I could live without:

Cable TV–Yes I am living without it. Sometimes it sucks, I miss watching some of my favorite shows, but I cannot afford it right now, and it’s actually ok. I have the internet to keep up with news, etc. I can always watch my shows on their networks websites if I wish. So it’s not that bad. The only time I really miss it is when I am very sick and just want to lay on the couch and do something totally mindless. One day I will have it back, when I can more afford it, until then, I am fine as it is. πŸ™‚

People–Does that make me sound bad? I hope not. I LOVE interacting with people online, but I am so introverted and so shy that being around people face to face makes me very nervous.Β  I get so nervous at times, that I throw up. That is really how bad it is for me. I don’t mind talking to some people I have met online on the phone, I am very shy at first, but warm up after a little while. So to be a hermit is fine with me.Β  (Please no one be offended I don’t mean anyone online I know or people who comment here. haha)

Intolerance–I hate intolerance, racism, anything like that. I think we are ALL in this world, and we all deserve respect. No matter what our skin color is, no matter what our sexual orientation is, no matter how skinny we are, no matter how “fluffy” we are, no matter our religious beliefs. We are ALL people and deserve the same rights as anyone else, we also deserve to go through this life without being judged.

Ok there you go. Things I can’t live without and things I could live without. What about you? Talk to me. This will be interesting! πŸ™‚

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5 Responses to “Keepin’ It Light Today…”


  1. 1 D
    November 18, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    Well, I can’t live without my evening talks with you. I mean it. I thrive on our nightly talks. Yes, it’s true that we talk all day as well, but there’s something about just curling up with you every single night without fail that makes my everyday end in love.

    I can’t live without my daughter’s warmth and smile. Nope. I would die without her little kind eyes always challenging me, always needing me. I could not live without her.

    I can’t live without my own personal truth. ‘To thine own self be true’. I’ve come to realize that I absolutely cannot live a lie of any type. In fact, I can’t move an inch if I really don’t want to.

    I can’t live without freedom. I love my alone time and I desperately need my own space. I need my time to just be alone, in deep thought, sometimes in deep prayer. I just need my freedom to tap into the source of Light…that’s where I get my courage and my ability to Love from.

    I can’t live without expression. If I don’t express myself, I wither and die. I am a total confronting communicator and anything less than complete uninhibited expression to me is prison. I cannot live being repressed, censored or stifled.

    I can’t live in a promiscuous relationship. I am monogamous and can ONLY live this way.

    I can live without meat, chicken or fish.
    I can live without people.
    I can live without pharmaceuticals because I don’t believe death is all that horrible a thing. If my destiny is to die because I refuse to take certain medications, then that is what God has in mind for me. I can live with imminent death, I just can NOT live with a poor quality of life.
    I can live without ever having sex with another man outside of you for the rest of my life. I am very content with you.
    I can live without ever seeing my mother or ex-husband again.
    I can live WELL knowing that even though YOU, the love of my life will more than likely die before me, I will join you in heaven where we will live forever, in love, happily.

    Great discussion question. πŸ™‚

  2. 2 V
    November 18, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    I can live WELL knowing that even though YOU, the love of my life will more than likely die before me, I will join you in heaven where we will live forever, in love, happily.

    Forever and a day…. I love you! I am glad you enjoyed my blog, I hope it inspires people to write here! That would be great!

  3. 3 Pam
    November 18, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    I saw that you visited my blog, and I am so glad! I know so much of what you are saying. I have Lupus, and it has made me an internet hermit as well.

    I couldn’t live without my family most of all. I love my husband and my three kids, they are my entire world. They are the reason I started scrapbooking and eventually designing my own products. I want them to remember their lives as we lived them. I owe them everything, especially my husband who has been my strength when I don’t have my own.

    I couldn’t live without my computer, the internet, or Photoshop. I think I might go into withdrawals without them! Speaking of withdrawals, I KNOW I am addicted to coffee, tea, and Dr. Pepper! It’s a bad day for everyone when they aren’t consumed πŸ™‚

    I couldn’t live without my online friends either. I am shy as well, and it takes that whole extra mess out. I can be honest too.

    I could live without intolerance as well. I think of myself as an open minded person, and I have no room to tell anyone how to live their life. I can’t stand discrimination of any kind. I hope I have taught my children that. It is an issue close to my heart. I am a devout Catholic, and I hope I can show religion and tolerance in one person. So many people think they can not exist together.

    I could live without dishonesty. It makes me so mad, and it hurts worse than if you were just honest in the first place.

    I could live without child abusers of any kind. I suffered, and I know countless others have too. It isn’t acceptable, and makes me sick.

    I could go on and on! Thank you so much for this. It was exactly what I needed today! I am adding this to my blog, and definitely to my blogroll. I know people are sent to us for a reason.

  4. 4 V
    November 18, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Hey Pam! I am glad you stopped by my blog! Yes, I loved all the stuff at yours, it is amazing. I love working in Photoshop as well, and my wife is an artist. πŸ™‚

    I am sorry you suffer with Lupus, illness really does take it out of us, doesn’t it? I also have suffered horrible abuse, sexual/physical/mental/by my “father” so I understand what you mean about living without child abuse in this world. I get SO angry when I hear about yet another abused child in this world, it pains me so, hurts my heart.
    Thank you also for adding me to your blog and blogroll!

  5. 5 Pam
    November 18, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    Thank you for the compliment! I am new to this designing thing, and it helps so much to hear that others enjoy it!

    Illness sucks! I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through as well. No one knows until they have to deal with it. I am no way in your position though. I am glad you have a loving family to lean on.

    Trust me, talking about abuse has to be helpful. For so long I thought it was a dirty secret, and then I realized that I didn’t do anything wrong! It is incredibly sad to hear how common it is, and to find out so many have been affected by this. Thanks again for finding me πŸ™‚


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