Betrayal AGAIN.

I was betrayed yet again. I met someone who told me they were an abused person too, that “he” understood and “he” proceeded to tell me these tales of abuse. I thought…”Oh God, finally someone who understands!”. So I opened myself up to “him” and told “him” many things about how I was abused, things I haven’t really told many other people. I started to care for “him”, I wanted to HELP “him”. I thought he was like me, I wanted to be there for “him”. I gave “him” love, friendship, *sighs*. “He” came to my radio show one day, requested some songs, something nagged at me, so I checked “his” IP. “He” had told me “he” was from overseas (I won’t say what country), but the IP showed “he” was from the United States. I tried to shrug it off with the thoughts, “Oh “he” is an abused child too, “he” doesn’t trust, “he” doesn’t want anyone to know where “he” really lives.” I let it go, until “his” “friends” started to come to my shows and request too. ALL with the same IP, the “friends” were supposed to be from the US, while “he” was in the other country. Now someone tell me, there is NO possible way to have the same IP, and be in different countries? Am I right? I have had several people tell me I am right. I confronted “him” about this and “he” gave me some bullshit story about secret ways to have the same IP, using satellite and all that crap. I knew “he” was lying, but I thought, “Oh God, this person is troubled, “he” needs a friend, I can’t turn my back on “him”. So I tried to remain “his” friend. THEN “he” proceeds to start IMing with my sister, with another name. It was sickening to think “he” was doing this. I was shocked, and I finally told my sister. She didn’t want to believe it, I had to show her proof. We have another friend that was also sucked in by “him”. She told me things today that I had no clue about. First off, the “he” is a SHE! Yes, a she, I even know her REAL name and what she looks like now. She has way over 10 different people she is acting like, sucking people in and hurting them. WHY? What did I do to deserve this? Oh folks, it gets worse. I find out she is married with an autistic boy and an autistic daughter! *I* am autistic, did she use her knowledge of autism to SUCK me in?? She is neglecting her children to do this shit online? OMG, why? I feel so betrayed, so humiliated and SO STUPID. I trusted who I thought was another abused boy with my secrets, my heart, my feelings. I have been stomped on again.

What do I do? How do I handle this? I have removed this person and all her personalities from my myspace. I so want to confront her, ask her WHY, just why. Is she going to get pissed now that I know the truth? Is she going to betray my confidences? I fucking hope not. That WOULD be the ultimate betrayal. I wanted to just walk away from this, and I did, until my sister and our other friend started figuring things out. They asked me, I am NOT a liar so I had to tell them the truth. *SIGH*. I wasn’t going to “rat” this person out. I just wanted him…err…her out of MY life. Now I had to tell them everything I knew. I know they are going to confront her too. It’s just too much drama for me. God. Anyhow, I don’t want to be put down for being trusting and stupid. I just had to rant about this, to get it out. I am SO angry. SO fucking angry!


5 Responses to “Betrayal AGAIN.”

  1. December 1, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    I can relate to being betrayed. It hurts…a lot. You want to know why they did what they did and it just gets very frustrating. It feels like you don’t matter. While feeling angry is completely normal when being betrayed i know for me, it gets me nowhere and I try to change this feeling when I can. Resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die, you only hurt yourself. What I do to stop the madness in my head are several things. 1. talk about it with someone else (like your doing now). 2. Get into solution. – I do this by being of service to other people. Whether that’s calling someone up and seeing how their day is going or giving a friend a ride, being of service gets me out of my head. 3. In no way am I religious, but I have found praying for the other person, eventually makes me hate them less. We all have our issues, this person just so happens to have this certain issue and if you come with love and compassion for this persons shortcomings you be more peaceful with yourself.
    This is just my experience, I hope everything works out, it always seems too. : )

  2. 2 V
    December 1, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it so much. It’s nice to know people read my blogs AND that they understand! I see you also read about bolding your font HAHAHA! That I REALLY appreciate it. I will get over this betrayal like I have gotten over so many others. It just hurts, especially since I was JUST betrayed by one of my best friends from childhood. Ah well, life goes on, I am too sick and have too much going on in my life to let this get me down for too long. I DO pray for her/him/whatever. I want them to see what they are doing is wrong. You can’t hurt people, you just can’t! Bah! I am going to go shower and think about things haha. I checked out your site a little, I bookmarked it and will check more tomorrow!!!

  3. December 2, 2008 at 12:38 am

    omg this is just sick sick sick how can this person do such a thing it makes me want to vomit like people are so sick my family wonders why i dont trust why i dont let peole in my heart in my life this is why people are SICK this makes me mad to for you i am so sorry this happnded to you my friend there are very few real nice people in the wrol i know that all to well try to keep your chin up and know i care and do understand

    huggles amy

  4. 4 mile191
    December 2, 2008 at 2:25 am

    i am so sorry that someone would do that to you. i think that is also what i have been most afraid of, opening up. what if….

    please don’t give up hope. there are good people out there who will listen and keep your confidences. this one person just sucks. i have had experience with horrible therapists, and then i get wondering just how sick people are to want to hear stuff that they use for their personal fun. i don’t get it. but i dont get what happened to me, or to you.

    i am sorry for your pain. you are not alone, and we will be here to help you. you do have some good people reading you, i know because they have been good to me. please take care. i am so sorry. safe ♥

  5. 5 sunshines4me
    December 2, 2008 at 9:11 am

    OMG V, this is exactly what you didn’t need…..We’ve talked about your trust issues and I can’t believe another sick lunatic has latched onto you!

    But for every bad one in this world, there is a special, compassionate, and GOOD person out there! You need to remember this ALWAYS and keep your lines of communication open with the ones closest to you that you know you can trust!

    I hope you all can get him/her out of your lives and off your websites completely….GEEZ….to think that people have that much time and will put that much friggin effort into stalking and manipulating someone blows my mind…..especially when she supposedly has children that need her!?!

    It is just sickening! I am here for you V and just know that I AM what I have shown you! A TRUE FRIEND!! Much love and support~ Hugs, J

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