Sick and tired of being sick and tired…

sickandtiredAs you know if you have read my blog, I am sick with leukemia, ESRD and spinal degeneration. My pain these days is so bad I can barely stand it. I am fighting to get into pain management so I can have at least SOME quality of life.

Well, last night I got sick, very sick, puking my brains out all night. Shaking, burning up but chilling with goosebumps all over. Hurting horribly bad around my belly button. I had surgery November 27, 2007 to repair an umbilical hernia, and sadly I think it has returned. The scariest thing about last night was the AMOUNT I puked up. I swear the first time I threw up I bet I puked at least a gallon of stuff. WHERE did it come from? I was throwing up stuff I had eaten 12-14 hours earlier. A few years ago they told me I had mild gastroparesis, that is where your stomach is partially or totally paralyzed and you can’t move the food.  They put me on Reglan, which was one of THE most horrible meds ever. It made me have facial tics, tremors, etc., and it permanently damaged me, so they had to take me off of it *SIGHS AGAIN*.  So now is the gastroparesis getting worse on top of everything else? Is my hernia back? They had to do the surgery last time because I was in the same pain as I am now, and the hernia was strangulated *SIGH*. I can’t keep doing this, I just can’t. Now I have no insurance to pay for another surgery if they have to do it. I am so sick of this shit. Isn’t the pain and illnesses I have now ENOUGH?  I can’t take having to go through this belly button pain over and over again. To be honest, I have never been the same since that dr. repaired the hernia. I have still had pain there, but nothing like what I experienced last night. I am still feeling weak, I am still nauseous and I have a show to do tonight at 8:00pm ET. Let’s just hope I don’t get sick again *SIGHS*. I am scared to eat, I don’t want to set off the pain and puking again, I might try some ice cream. I tell you, when you puke a lot like I do, you learn what foods come up easily and what to eat. I tend to stick with ice cream and j-ello. I have both in there, I think I will make some j-ello and try eating that too.

I am done typing I am weak and don’t feel good. I’ll write more later I guess.

3 Responses to “Sick and tired of being sick and tired…”

  1. 1 Rusty
    December 20, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    I keep forgetting to tune into your show, but will tonight, and see if I can figure out how to make a request. For the heck of it, I streamed HHR while I was assembling the tuna tetrazzini for dinner, and was pleasantly surprised to hear it go from Nat King Cole to Deep Purple. Cool!

    Feel better, sweetie. Hugs for you.

  2. 2 D
    December 20, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    Ohhhhhh 😦 baby… I am so sad for all that you go through, my baby. So much pain and weariness… oh baby. *hugs you so close*

    I love you.

  3. 3 justice4mothers
    December 21, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    I don’t know if this will work for you, but try saltine crackers, just a little. Pregnant mothers who are bothered by morning sickness do this to help calm their stomach, and it does help. I am so sorry….I hope you can hold something down soon.

    (Sorry, I can’t bold my comments)

    Take care sweetie…

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