Doctor’s appointment and general bitching…

So I had my doctor appointment yesterday. First off he checked my belly button area and said he didn’t feel a hernia, so the hernia repair is still ok, BUT, he thinks I may have adhesion’s (scar tissue) in that area and it might have some of my intestine blocked *SIGH*. I have to see the surgeon on Tuesday the 30th and I will know more about that. Now on to my back pain. This pain in my upper back/neck area is some of THE worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I am losing control of my left arm, both arms are weak, it’s hard to type, I have to rest a lot when I type blogs, etc., I can’t really write at all, it is affecting my memory, the way I walk, my speech *SIGH*. The pain is a constant deep, burning ache that never goes away. It runs down my left arm to my fingers (I am a lefty so this is NOT good). It is now hurting a bit on the right side as well. Every now and again it feels like bee stings or electric shocks are running through the area and it makes my whole body jerk with the pain. My doctor said that it is definitely spinal compression, we just have to find out what is causing the compression. Since I was diagnosed with DDD (Degenerative Disc Disease)/Arthritis of my spine when I was 8 years old, is it THAT? You know, herniated discs, it is bone spurs or GOD forbid is it cancer that has spread to my spine and a tumor is pushing on my spinal column? I will know more after my MRI which is also Tuesday the 30th. My doctor said regardless of WHAT it is I still have to have surgery. So it’s not a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN it will happen. We have to figure out first what is causing the compression, then we have to find a neurologist who will see me and do the surgery for me, because I still have NO fucking insurance (thanks to the government still fighting my disability, the assholes).

He put me on Neurontin…has anyone who reads me ever taken it? I don’t know what to expect from it. It’s SUPPOSE to help with nerve pain. I won’t get it for at least 3 weeks though, because it is expensive and I have to wait for the drug company who makes it to approve me and give me my 3 months free supply *SIGH*.  My doctor IS so good though, he knows I am in real pain, and he is the one who said he and other primary care physicians can’t write narcotics on a regular basis. Well, he gave me my tramadol with NO questions asked (THANK GOD), and he wrote me Vicodin (not the BEST narcotic for pain, but better than nothing) to do me until I get the Neurontin. He really does do everything he can to help me. He actually calls me at home to ask me how I am and things like that. I have NEVER had a doctor do those things for me. He’s wonderful, just wonderful. I am blessed to have found him.

Now for the bitching. My ex doctor should have LISTENED to me on so many levels, but he didn’t. I TOLD him about the pain in my upper back/neck area about 8 months ago, he just put me on more pain meds, didn’t x-ray it, didn’t touch me to check the area, NOTHING. I told him a year or more ago about my heart beating weirdly, he dismissed that and didn’t do any testing. Now I find out that my heart IS damaged, it is not properly pumping blood to my body. My neck/upper back area IS fucked up. He DID NOT listen to me, he dismissed everything I said, just giving me more and more narcotics and stupid me thought–“Well, he IS a doctor, I guess he knows best.”–how stupid I was *SIGH*. I have spoken to other patients of his, he NEVER diagnoses ANYTHING, he simply gives out more and more pain pills. He is a pill mill, a fucking pill mill. I told D last night that I AM suing him. I am going to start looking for lawyers after Christmas. He is NOT going to get away with what he’s done to me. If he had listened to me, to my complaints of pain, would my heart have not been so damaged? Would my spine problems have been lessened? Because of him, I now have irreversible heart damage, I am facing paralysis because of the compression of my spine, and I have to wonder if he is not partially at fault for my kidney failure. Did all the damn medications he had me on hurt my only kidney and cause it to slowly fail? *SIGH* I am SO very pissed off right now. I want to sue his ass– I am also going to report him to the AMA and the KY board of physicians. I wouldn’t be surprised if they found out he was defrauding Medicaid and such.

So anyhow, I do have SOME pain relief thanks to my new wonderful doctor. Thanks to the ex doctor I have to have spine surgery or be paralyzed, what a choice to make huh? Hmm, do I want them to cut my throat and go in to work on my spine or do I want to just wait until it compresses so bad I am paralyzed–*shakes my head*–I am on dialysis and will be the rest of my life and my heart is damaged.


FUCK YOU Dr. Butthead! GAH! I am so upset, so very upset. All evening yesterday and since I have been up this morning, I have went between crying my eyes out to raging like a bull. I am PISSED. I am scared and I am in FUCKING pain–thanks Dr. Asshole, thanks a lot.

6 Responses to “Doctor’s appointment and general bitching…”

  1. December 23, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    Oh V, I’m so sorry.

    (((Gentle Hugs)))

  2. 2 D
    December 23, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    I love the bad ass skeleton flipping the bird. Butthead should sit and swivel on that boney finger. Well, here’s to lawsuits and disability cases being approved, baby!
    Cheers.. We’re going to get our way this time, I just know it.

  3. 3 sunshines4me
    December 23, 2008 at 11:37 pm

    V ~ It is going to come thru for you whether you believe it or not! This bullshit has to stop…Karma says so! I am behind you all the way AND YOU DO WHAT EVER YOU NEED TO DO to survive, I’ve got your back whether you need donations or otherwise, I will be your friend a and respect you, and will support you in any way necessary!! Your dear friend~ Jenn!

  4. 4 mile191
    December 25, 2008 at 5:23 am

    i missed you. i am sorry to read that so much has gone on. i had to break from reading for a while….not you. ME in general. I got some news about my mental health, really freaked me out. But I am doing better now. On medication, and I plan to heal. Do you have any people to be with you right now. YOUR blog here is beautiful. The words dance in my mind and heart, and I pray hard for you. I hope you will feel some peace and comfort. May you have one really wonderful day….one day at a time. keep writing when you can. and please don’t ever remove this. it is touching and people need to read. I will be coming to read you forever…i promise that. V, love and hugs today. Hope that you have a beautiful moment in between the trials that you are suffering. xoxoxxx,,,,my grandmother taught me that means hugs and kisses, i wanted to share some with you. Merry Christmas, Happy Kawanza, Haunikkah, [probably all misspelled….but if you celebrate any of them I wanted to wish you a happy one] and if not then as my son says: Have a Happy day. Mile 191 – HOPE.

  5. 5 D
    December 25, 2008 at 10:50 am

    “I’ve got your back whether you need donations or otherwise…”

    -Did you make a donation? Because I take care of V’s fund raising and I don’t see your donation registered.

    Please, if you meant what you said, this is the time. Now. We are doing everything we can to raise money for him…friends are what we rely upon, so please if you are serious about ‘I’ve got your back, donations or otherwise’ then the time is now. Thanks sunshine!


  6. 6 Mr. Fabulous
    December 25, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    We have talked about this and as I told you V, it will be ok! We will get through this like any other road block that you stumble upon. The ones that really love you will be there, support you and make sure you get through this new setback in style. 😉 I love you so much V, so very much–and Yippy! It’s nice to be at the apartment with you right now, I enjoyed seeing my friends, but it’s nice to see your beautiful face again!

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