for my D..I love you. I am sorry my illness is so very fucking hard. Thank you for staying by my side through it all..

That’s it for now…

1 Response to “cancer…”

  1. 1 D
    March 12, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    Ok now that’s a tearjerker alrighty…*sniffles* yeah I know. Fuck. I don’t want you to leave me. DAMN. Yeah… fuck. the hardest part of death is you leaving me. the hardest part is living without my love, my man. The hardest part of the fucking cancer is the non stop promise that you’ll be taken from me nice and early, leaving me to a life without you. I don’t want it. I want you to become healthy and come take me away. *laughs* I know. I know.

    I’m in such a fucking denial these days I can hardly even talk. I feel the wind and I concentrate real hard and I think, ‘wow, it’s such a beautiful day out…’ but under it all.. there’s something I can’t touch. I can’t go there. I can’t feel this right now, because it’s too ‘there’… so I live in a bubble and if the bubble pops I get sucked into the vacuum of blackness and it keeps on sucking me until my eyeballs pop out and all there is is..


    don’t go.

    I love you. Mine. My baby. mine mine mine….

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