sick, sick people…

I am so fucking sick of the pedophiles. I am sick of reading about them and their sickness, I am sick of being torn into shreds everytime I see something in the news. I SO want to go out and …well let’s just say I have nice vengeance fantasies of things I would like to do to all the pedophiles of the world.

austria_crime_06First case– Fritzl the sick bastard who held his daughter captive for 24 years!  TWENTY FOUR freakin’ years of raping her, fathering 7 children with her (how SICK), allowing one of those poor children to DIE. I know you’ve probably read all about it, but MY GOD, I have to wonder about his wife, the authorities. I mean first off, he takes 3 of the children to live “upstairs” telling his wife that they were found in a cardboard box left by his daughter who he had told authorities ran away to join a cult. It happens not once, not twice, but THREE times and the wife never became suspicious? COME ON! They had renters that lived in that house, that were told to never go in the basement, his wife never entered the basement for TWENTY FOUR years? Give me a big break. The courts in Austria allowed this sick fuck and his wife to adopt these three children, no questions asked? WTF? I find that VERY hard to swallow.

austria_crime_05He left the other three children down in the dungeon he created with their mother for all those  years. Those poor children had never seen daylight. They said Fritzl would taunt those babies with pictures and tales of the “upstairs” children and how it looked outside, etc. Can you get ANY MORE cruel? MY GOD.  Then to top it ALL off, he wants to blame his abusive childhood for raping and enslaving his daughter for TWENTY FOUR years. I am sorry I don’t buy that load of crap. I was horrifically abused as a child, much more horrific than I have told any of you on this blog and I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER abused a child and I never would. Do I have problems because of my abuse? HELL YES, but I would never put another human being, especially a child through what I’ve been through. Just admit you are a sick fuck Josef Fritzl and stop blaming your past as an abused child for your sickness. If the oldest child hadn’t have gotten so ill, they would all still be in that prison…*sigh* Unfortunately the kid is still very ill. I just pray that the child gets better and that Elisabeth and all the children can get the help they all need and lead semi normal lives. My heart goes out to them all.

stephen_quick_samantha_lightTHEN I see this sick shit just the other day, it turned my stomach and made me cry for the children involved.  These two sick fucks were babysitting children out of their Indiana home. Too bad that babysitting wasn’t all they were doing. The sick fucks were molesting the children and VIDEOTAPING it. YES the woman was involved too (I will talk more about how I feel with women being pedophiles in just a bit). The children were ALL under the age of six and one was TWO MONTHS OLD. GOD, what the fuck?? They said the initial raid on the house turned up several computers, cameras, pornographic materials, drugs, sex toys and videotape of BOTH of them in various sex acts with at least four children. Oh, did I forget to tell you, the two month old was her OWN DAUGHTER?????? He, Stephen Quick, has been charged with 3 counts of child molestation and one count of child exploitation. She, Samantha Light, has been charged with 4 counts of child molestation and one count of child exploitation. What will they end up with? A slap on the wrist? Some probation? WTF ever.

I am sure you have also heard of the 26 people arrested for being on a website run by pedophiles that were streaming LIVE child molestation? There are forums for pedophiles all over the internet, where they teach each other how to groom/molest innocent children. They pass around videos and photos of children being raped, they get together and BRAG about raping/molesting these children!! They have their websites where they try to legalize adult/child “love”, yeah let’s just try to legalize the RAPE of children!!! How sick is that? 

I AM SO SICK OF pedophiles, I mentioned that before didn’t I? Everyday I wonder how many of MY child pictures or videos that “Dad” took/made are passed around to fucking pedophiles. How many of them have gotten off looking at pictures of my child body being RAPED? Of seeing video of my “Dad” and some others raping me? Hold on I am going to vomit.

*SIGH* Ok…I am back. You see, I wasn’t just raped/tortured/beaten by my “Dad”. He liked to pass me around to his “friends”, oh yeah, I was a child whore for my “Dad” and these other pedophiles. Yes, one of them was a couple, a man and a woman. I remember seeing her and thinking in my child mind that this woman might help me, I mean a woman/mother figure should help an innocent child that is being raped/beaten/molested, right? No, she didn’t help me, she helped herself to MY BODY. I was made to perform sex acts on HER. That really fucked up my child mind, it still fucks me up to this day. So I know from experience that you can trust NO ONE. Women, men, doesn’t matter. Policemen/women, clergy, teachers, coaches, family members, it doesn’t matter. ANYONE can be a pedophile.

I think they should be killed, period. It’s been proven time and time again that they cannot be rehabilitated, they DO re-offend. KILL THEM, take their sick asses out of the gene pool please. If they are caught once, for God sakes, don’t let them out to hurt yet ANOTHER child. Some people say “castrate them!”. Sure, that is ok too, in a slow painful way, maybe with a dull knife, but castration of a pedophile isn’t going to do any good. They are SICK in the head, they don’t need a dick to molest a child. They have hands, objects, things like that. Our sex offender registry (as good as it is to be able to find pedophiles in your area) isn’t working. It just doesn’t. How many times do you read in the news how a child was abducted, raped, tortured and killed by one of these sick fuckers, and how they find out after that child is dead that the perpetrator was a registered sex offender? It happens more than I even want to think about.

Our justice system does not do NEAR enough to protect children. People STILL in this day and time, turn a blind eye to children being hurt. They don’t want to have to face it. So they leave kids to be hurt again and again AND AGAIN! Our social services system is SO flawed. They take a child out of the home for a parent spanking a child. By spanking, I mean a swat on the hiney with a hand, but they will send a child back home to a parent who is abusing/molesting them. They want to preserve the family unit when possible. OH yeah sure, let’s send that child back to be violated 6 ways to Sunday, as long as the family unit is there it’s all good, right? OH FUCK YOU. Protect the children already. People don’t turn that blind eye, if you even SUSPECT a child is being hurt, TELL SOMEONE! You can even do it anonymously, please just do it. YOU could save a child.

Ack I am shaking, this is triggering and upsetting to me. I am just sick to death of every time I look at the news I see a story about yet another child fucker. Kill them already, take them out and make this world a bit of a safer place for children…..I’m done, and I need to go breathe.


14 Responses to “sick, sick people…”

  1. 1 D
    March 19, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    I love you. One day… one day….

    • 2 murderousthoughts
      March 20, 2009 at 11:15 pm

      Yes, one day….I love you too!

  2. March 20, 2009 at 2:06 am

    Thanks for this post. I was pissed off too hearing about that evil asshole in Germany and his kids. I would have been more than pissed off, but I tried not too hear or think too much about it or I’d be in nightmare land. I heard how his daughter came into the courtroom and her rage on his face made him admit his guilt (that and probably a whole lot of irrefutable evidence I’m thinking). Regardless, that took a lot of bravery on her part. Wherever you are, Elizabeth, may you find peace and happiness.

    V, I’m sorry you were abused so badly by so many people. Where do all these fuckers come from? I know lots of survivors who’ve never abused anyone too, so you’re right, it’s no f’ing excuse. I know a bit about what it’s like to not be able to escape and no-one helps you, but it sounds like, not to the extent that you do. I’ve also thought about slow castration / revenge fantasies, but although they were grisly, I can’t dream up anything painful enough that feels even close to evening the score. My abuser is dying of a what I hope is a very painful recurrence of cancer, so hopefully God/ess is/are more creative than I am. May there be a big outbreak of terminal cancer amongst child abusers – I hear liver cancer is particularly painful.

    I’m glad we’re both adults and out of there. May we outlive them all and dance upon their graves!

    • 4 murderousthoughts
      March 20, 2009 at 11:19 pm

      Hey, I am so glad you have commented! I don’t know where the fuckers come from, but they flock together like flies on shit.

      I have had many vengeance fantasies, I used to write in notebooks as my journals, I have them all saved. I started writing at 6 years old, so there are quite a few and they tell ALL. It’s always good to write these things out, to get them off my chest. If I could get rid of my stalkers it would be even better.

      Cancer is VERY painful, I have terminal leukemia/ESRD/degenerative disc disease/Brain tumors. It’s a sad thing that my “Dad” and mny other abusers are walking around happily and I suffer huh? Oh well, I guess that’s the way life is. I hope you will write more often here! I love hearing what you have to say!!!

      YES I would love to dance on their graves. That would be a lovely thing!

  3. 5 butterflysblog
    March 20, 2009 at 7:41 am

    What happened to you was wrong and horrible. Andrew Vachss would say that you are behyond being a survivor – now you are a transcender. You are someone who transcended beyond what happened to you into being someone who broke the cycle of abuse.

    • 6 murderousthoughts
      March 20, 2009 at 11:20 pm

      I don’t know if I am a transcender or not. I am still such aa little boy *sigh*. Still being abused, still praying for relief from it all. BUT I DID break the cycle of abuse, I would NEVER harm a child, ever. So in that aspect yes, I guess I am a transcender! *Hugs* I SO love when you comment, have I told you that lately? *smiles*

  4. 7 Donnie D.
    March 20, 2009 at 9:46 am

    I hate having to vote for life in prison…Somehow someway I still want to think that life in prison is worse for people than death…Dying slowly in a cage with light only a few hours a day is pretty crappy…Prisons, especially Texas and California prisons are no cake walk…I’m sure I’ll become a Republican in a few years and then I’ll just be a normal Texan and want to execute everybody! I just don’t wish death on anyone…

    On a serious note, what I’ve been wondering lately is why I am attracted to such shows as Law & Order, Law & Order SVU, all the CSI’s, Criminal Minds…All these shows specifically geared for justice but also more often than not have some type of sexual abuse intertwined in the storyline…Is that my form of justice because my abuser was never convicted or caught???

    • 8 murderousthoughts
      March 20, 2009 at 11:23 pm

      Hey Donnie, I understand to a point what you mean about life in prison, but what gets me about THAT is that the tax payers and the victims are the ones that have to pay for them to be in prison and to me that’s so wrong.

      I love those shows like that too. I watch Law and Order:SVU, CSI;Miami, Cold Case, etc. I know some of them do trigger me at times, but I think I like watching the offender’s getting some sort of justice. So that could very well be why you enjoy those shows, and all that is fine and good. 😉

  5. 9 agentscythe
    March 20, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    new reader here.

    • 10 murderousthoughts
      March 20, 2009 at 11:23 pm

      😉 hehehe

  6. March 24, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    Hi, murderous. I found your blog when you commented on mine today, and invited me to take a look here. Cool blog name, by the way. 🙂

    What was done to you is unthinkably evil. Were any of the people involved ever prosecuted?

    • 12 murderousthoughts
      March 25, 2009 at 12:04 am

      Hey there. Glad you like the blog name haha. As you read, I had to move my other one…thank God I could keep all my posts and things!

      None of the people involved were arrested. I was taught at a very early age, “Don’t scream, don’t tell.” I don’t how far you went back into my blog, but you should read this https://murderousthoughts.wordpress.com/2008/11/30/when-i-learned-to-never-tell/ link to kind of understand why I didn’t tell. Why I was so terrified. I know some of the people who hurt me back the are dead and gone by now. I guess that is SOME justice, to know they are probably burning in hell for the things they did to me.

      I blogrolled you! I hope that was ok! And I hope to see you around my blog more!


  7. March 25, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger. It wasn’t a neighbor, a coach, a relative, a family friend or teacher. It was a recidivist pedophile predator who spent time in prison for previous sex crimes; an animal hunting for victims in the quiet, bucolic, suburban neighborhoods of Lincoln, Rhode Island.

    I was able to identify the guy and the car he was driving. Although he was arrested that night and indicted a few months later, he never went to trial. His trial never took place because he was brutally beaten to death in Providence before his court date. 34 years later, no one has ever been charged with the crime.

    In the time between the night of my assault and the night he was murdered, I lived in fear. I was afraid he was still around town. Afraid he was looking for me. Afraid he would track me down and kill me. The fear didn’t go away when he was murdered. Although he was no longer a threat, the simple life and innocence of a 14-year-old boy was gone forever. Carefree childhood thoughts replaced with the unrelenting realization that my world wasn’t a safe place. My peace shattered by a horrific criminal act of sexual violence.

    Over the past 34 years, I’ve been haunted by horrible, recurring memories of what he did to me. He visits me in my sleep. There have been dreams–nightmares actually–dozens of them, sweat inducing, yelling-in-my-sleep nightmares filled with images and emotions as real as they were when it actually happened. It doesn’t get easier over time. Long dead, he still visits me, silently sneaking up from out of nowhere when I least expect it. From the grave, he sits by my side on the couch every time the evening news reports a child abduction or sex crime. I don’t watch America’s Most Wanted or Law and Order SVU, because the stories are a catalyst, triggering long suppressed emotions, feelings, memories, fear and horror. Real life horror stories rip painful suppressed memories out from where they hide, from that recessed place in my brain that stores dark, dangerous, horrible memories. It happened when William Bonin confessed to abducting, raping and murdering 14 boys in California; when Jesse Timmendequas raped and murdered Megan Kanka in New Jersey; when Ben Ownby, missing for four days, and Shawn Hornbeck, missing for four years, were recovered in Missouri.

    Despite what happened that night and the constant reminders that continue to haunt me years later, I wouldn’t change what happened. The animal that attacked me was a serial predator, a violent pedophile trolling my neighborhood in Lincoln, Rhode Island looking for young boys. He beat me, raped me, and I stayed alive. I lived to see him arrested, indicted and murdered. It might not have turned out this way if he had grabbed one of my friends or another kid from my neighborhood. Perhaps he’d still be alive. Perhaps there would be dozens of more victims and perhaps he would have progressed to the point of silencing his victims by murdering them.

    Out of fear, shame and guilt, I’ve been silent for over three decades, not sharing with anyone the story of what happened to me. No more. The silence has to end. The fear, the shame, the guilt have to go. It’s time to stop keeping this secret from the people closest to me, people I care about, people I love, my long-time friends and my family. It’s time to speak out to raise public awareness of male sexual assault, to let other victims know that they’re not alone and to help victims of rape and violent crime understand that the emotion, fear and memories that may still haunt them are not uncommon to those of us who have shared a similar experience. For those who suffer in silence, I hope my story brings some comfort, peace and hope.

    My story was just released as a novel titled, Men in My Town. It’s available now on Amazon.com. Men in My Town by Keith Smith. Someone got away… with murder.

    • March 25, 2009 at 11:02 pm

      Good luck with the book!

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