in all this time online….

In all the years I have been on the internet I have never been treated as rudely as I have today. Let me tell you the story, then I will post some of the things said to me.

I am at a book swapping site and they have great members on the forums over there. I love getting involved and having fun in them. I’ve met some really awesome people there. Until today I was having a lot of fun over there…Someone posted a topic…”Do you read on the toilet”. I thought it was a funny title so I got involved. This so-called college educated person (majoring in psychology) starts coming down on ME for being germphobic. I was shocked at how rudely she has acted, considering I was only giving my thoughts and not asking for help!

Here are a few of the things said (it might get long):

My first post on the “toilet thread”–

I am a HUGE germaphobe. I am addicted (a real addiction) to hand sanitizer. I can’t imagine reading in the bathroom. I do my business and get out. And I DO wash my hands, that’s one of my BIGGEST pet peeves, someone not washing their hands after using the potty YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!

As far as fecal matter “floating around”, I watch an episode of Myth Busters (LOVE that show) and they did a test with toothbrushes, they left some in the bathroom covered with a glass and put some in the kitchen. Even the ones in the kitchen ended up with fecal matter on them from the flushing. YUCK, I was shuddering through that whole episode. I put my toothbrushes in ziploc bags and I put the LID DOWN on the toilet seat before flushing. To me it’s just common sense?

Also, all the books I receive are always wiped down with rubbing alcohol, no germs for me. I also have CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia) and my immune system is NOTHING so I have to be extra careful. I open any packages with latex gloves on, clean everything then I am a happy camper hahaha.


Note how I did NOT ask for help, nor ask questions…This person “Kim” comes in with her response–

You know, therapy could help with that. I’m not trying to be funny, either. You shouldn’t live your life in fear.

I was stunned. I didn’t ask for help, I didn’t say I WASN’T in therapy. So I responded back to her–

Well,  first off, I didn’t take it as funny. I’ve had YEARS of therapy, unfortunately it is not going to fix me, considering the YEARS (and I mean A LOT OF YEARS) I was abused in horrific ways by my “Dad”…Sometimes therapy isn’t a cure all. If you’ve never been abused like me, you wouldn’t understand, and personally I think telling me to get therapy was a bit ….condescending considering you don’t know just how bad my abuse was….(think David Pelzer author of “A Child Called It’…. x2) OR if I was already IN therapy.

As I said in my post up there, my “Dad” did things to me to cause the fear of germs, then I got sick with leukemia and I have NO immune system left so that kicked the germphobia into overdrive…I can’t AFFORD to get sick, what may be a little cold to you can turn into pneumonia or worse for me (and HAS many times) and I end up in the hospital. It could even mean the death of me. So if being germphobic can keep me around a bit longer with my little girl, then I am a proud one.

Good night all.

I had hoped that my post was the end of that. But noooo, she comes back in!

One of the first steps to successful therapy is wanting to be “fixed”. If your therapy isn’t working, then there are things that are standing in the way, such as the wrong therapist, the wrong therapy methods or the lack of will to want to get over what happened to you and get on with a healthy life. I’m sorry that you went through the horrific things you did, but as a psychology major, I strongly feel that therapy can be a very successful tool in helping someone get their lives back on track and help them live a mentally healthy life. I’m not trying to be rude or mean, but I feel that your comments above are comments that are getting in the way of you getting better. You have to have a positive outlook towards therapy as part of one of the things that make it successful. You also need to have the type of treatment (and their are loads of different methods) for not only your personal issues, but your personality as well. And then you have to have the right therapist. One of the biggest things needed for therapy to work is a good relationship between the client and the therapist. I don’t believe in an event or a life being too damaged to get it back on the right track. I feel that with the right help and the right attitude, that anyone can turn their life around and move on from what ever it is that is pulling them down.

Like I said, I’m sorry that you had to go through something like that. No one should ever be treated that way. But I do feel that there is help out there. I hope that one day you can find that help and be able to live a healthier, happier life. You should be who you are despite what happened, not because of it.


Umm I didn’t see where I asked to be “fixed”. I think she was being pretentious and assuming. It ticked me off….I have some friends on there who were defending me and “Kim” comes back with this–

Yes, I have read her posts and am sorry she is dealing with that, but she said herself that her germophobia stems from abuse as a child. So the root of the problem is not the cancer, but something more complex. I understand that she is sick and needs to take other precautions, but there are also other mental issues at hand. But she herself has said that it was things her dad did that brought on this fear to begin with and the cancer only made it worse. So, having training in therapy, I feel that if she can move past her issues caused by her dad and maybe her fear of germs wouldn’t be so extreme.

Uhh HER, SHE??? I am a GUY and it’s right there in my forum signature, a friend made me a blinkie that says (I’m a boy damnit). She showed she hadn’t bothered to look at my profile or anything else. Then I got really pissed. So I responded again–

Thanks everyone for sticking up for me.  I appreciate it.

You know, I don’t have a college degree, I will admit that here and now. I would have never been a doctor, a lawyer or anything “high powered” like that, but I am intelligent, my IQ is in the genius range, I started working at the age of 15 and worked for the same company until I got sick and couldn’t work anymore. When I got sick and had to leave my job, I was making 135K a year, I had a couple hundred thousand in savings (which unfortunately all my treatments have eaten away), a paid for house, etc.  And OMGZ I did it with my  germphobia and my OCD and my PTSD and my GAD and a host of other problems caused by my abuse!!! So a degree doesn’t make you or anyone else smarter than me. And with an IQ in the genius range I’ve never thought myself any better or more intelligent that anyone else, it’s call humility, you might try a nice dose of it. I am also an accomplished musician, I’ve been playing classical piano since I was a small child. I also play pretty much any musical instrument you can lay before me, given a bit of time. So spare me the arm chair or should I say forum thread diagnosis ok?

I know my life, I know what I’ve been through, you Kim, do not. So trying to diagnose me on a forum without ever speaking to me, reading my blogs, etc.,  is a bit pretentious. You haven’t lived through my abuse, you don’t know how many different therapists I have been through and personally it’s rather RUDE to assume I want to be this way. I guess going to college gives you the right to assume huh? You know, I am done arguing. I am who I am, I am damn proud of who I am. If I can’t express myself in this thread or any other thread for that matter, without you or someone like you coming down on me, then why post here at all?

I have to say until YOUR reply to me and replies to others about me, I hadn’t met a person I didn’t enjoy talking to or even disagreeing with on this site. You didn’t know I was a GUY (even though I have it in my signature), along with other things you said, proves you weren’t even taking the time to see WHO I was, let alone what I am about. I don’t need your diagnosis and I don’t need your help. I have lived many years like this, do I like, sometimes yes, sometimes no, but I am 100% me, and that I am proud of.

I’m out of this.

I think my jaw dropped reading more of the thread. I DID have so many sticking up for me (and for length’s sake I won’t post what they said to her about me, or what she said about me to them, but she was throwing around her “college degree”). Then she came back in–

“I know what I’ve been through”

And I know what you’ve posted here, so if you don’t want others to get an insight into your life, then don’t post it on an internet forum.

“have it in my signature”

I don’t tend to look at signatures. They’re of no value to me other than decoration.

I am truly sorry for you (and anyone else who chooses to live a life of fear). I chose the career/education path I did to help people, and I find it really sad that there are still people out there who don’t want it and would rather wallow in their misery.
You obviously don’t want to change, so I won’t be “RUDE”, as you put it, any more. So with that…I hope you can manage to enjoy your life every once and a while.

Now THAT shit really pissed me off, especially her last line. How fucking disrepectful can you be? She was also saying that my friends on there were “internet users who think they know it all”. So I said “FUCK THIS, and responded to her again, because I was fuming!–

I said I was done with this, but you just really pissed me off Kim. I DO have happiness in my life. I have my 2 daughters, I have my wife, I have my friends. Again I will say this and I will cap it so maybe you will finally understand–YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

Yeah I have my fears, but unless you’ve been as abused as I am/was STFU!! Stop acting so superior to everyone, it makes me puke in my mouth a little. You aren’t any better than anyone else, so get off your college degree high horse. You don’t care if I live in fear, if I am germphobic or even if I die, you only care about coming in here and slinging around your “education”, well you are slinging it on someone who doesn’t want it…

And who the **** are you to tell me that I shouldn’t post things on a forum or any where else I damn well please? I post things about my abuse, Autism, etc,, to let others know that they aren’t alone in this world. I do it for GOOD reasons. I don’t come down on people and act like I am better or more educated than they are. Are you sure YOU aren’t a bit insecure, or is it narcissistic? Seems that people who have to throw around how educated they are, how good they are at one thing or another are insecure themselves…that, of course, is just IMHO. *Rolls my eyes* I will say it again, I was happy with this site and this forum until you and you pretentiousness came along. You don’t know me, you don’t live my life, you don’t know how sick I am and you DAMN sure don’t know how abused I was, so please, again, just shut up and leave ME alone. Go analyze someone else. Kim you had no intentions of “helping” me, you only want to talk about how “educated” and “smart” and “better than everyone” you are. Do it with someone else, not me. I don’t want nor need your kind of attacks encouragement! I get support and kindness (you do know what that is don’t you?) from other users on here.

BTW, all internet users are people just like you

My friends on there came to my defense behind what I wrote, and I just saw where “Kim” typed this to them–

You guys crack me up. Getting pissed off because someone made a suggestion to someone else. Thanks for adding a laugh to my day.


Now you can see how fucking condescending this bitch is. Laughing about it? DOES SHE THINK my pain is funny???? I am sure this thread will keep going, whether I get involved or not I don’t know. I am just so upset that I would be treated so rudely and so cruelly by someone who doesn’t even KNOW a thing about me other than that first post in the “toilet thread”.

FUCK you Kim. You can take you and your “holier than thou, I’m smarter than you” attitude , your college degree , (err just found out she doesn’t HAVE a degree, she’s STILL in school haha) and your pretentiousness and shove them up your ridiculous ass sideways.

I’m out.

8 Responses to “in all this time online….”

  1. 1 scythe
    May 5, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    But this really isn’t the first time you’ve had rude run-in’s. You’ve had millions of them, in fact. This one is just beyond words rude. Well, you held your stance and you rose above it and other’s backed you up so all is okay now. Like G says: when you close the computer, the world of the computer ends. People are always going to be assholes…this won’t be the last occurrence.

    I love you.

  2. 2 butterflysblog
    May 6, 2009 at 12:58 am

    I really hate psych majors. I read somewhere once that there is more psychosis in masters level counseling students than in the general population.

  3. 3 jonnieangel
    May 6, 2009 at 1:05 am

    V, just ignore her! She’s a stupid bitch that needs external validation.


    Yes, that’s my official diagnosis. Because I have a college education, too … only, it’s in accounting. But, that shouldn’t matter, right?


    You have plenty of fans / friends sticking up for you. I wouldn’t worry about her. She doesn’t know anything.

  4. 4 theresa57
    May 6, 2009 at 3:13 am

    V, I messaged back and forth with you a few times yesterday on that site. One of the reasons I seldom post there anymore is because of smartasses like that one.
    My son and I read your whole blog, and we are furious that someone could be so stupid, while bragging on her “education”!
    We have had several sessions with psychologists, and as a mother and everyday working woman, I have sometimes felt I had more common sense than they did!
    I don’t post online much, but I had to join here just so I could say I think you handled yourself wonderfully!

  5. 5 noddybobump
    May 6, 2009 at 4:19 am

    That woman is a psycho!

  6. 6 countessbathory
    May 7, 2009 at 1:09 am

    she’s laughing because she was called out and proven wrong. Only reason for her rude behavior. She and Courtney.They can be bigots together. Though Courtney might see psychology a a sin….

  7. May 25, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    Good grief. I’m a germophobic genius myself, and I don’t intend to change either of those things. I have something very similar to Chronic Fatigue syndrome, and other people’s little bugs are my two months in bed. I don’t know how much therapy it would take to fix that, but while I’m in therapy trying to find out, I’d like to stay comparatively healthy. I don’t know why people are so strangely threatened by other people living their lives honestly. It’s not hurting anyone that you’re germophobic. It’s not even hurting you, though I suppose, arguably, it might be said that it’s slightly inconvenient at times. But the benefits far outweigh the consequences.

  8. June 1, 2009 at 12:40 am

    Hi V,

    Well first since she is in college, I don’t see how she thinks she has a degree or can throw it around. I have a bachelor of arts degree in psychology. If she doesn’t have one she would know enough to shut the fuck up. If she has one and is in a master’s program she would know she is not qualified to give advice to anyone. There isn’t a single fellow student that I knew there that I would consider letting anyone see in a therapeutic relationship. I shudder to think what kind of human beings they are five plus years since I knew them, let alone what kind of professionals any of them have been able to make themselves into.

    No one, not any therapist, would say some load of crap like this to anyone. For one thing someone would not say anything about germaphobia to someone with cancer. That is just not humane to poke at someone, make judgments, and treat them in a manner like they are a little rat who must run a maze.

    I’m so sorry dear V that she treated you like this. OCD is not a matter of therapy, as even I and tons of other people understand. It is not about IQ. It is not about doing a really good job in therapy. It is a very difficult and challenging issue that this person apparently knows nothing about. She is one of the biggest idiots I have ever seen.

    I’m sorry dear. Good and healing thoughts to you.


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