15
Jun
09

so I am fucking PISSED!

fuck-youWell, just like I told everyone—the Disability Determination Unit turned me down AGAIN..for the third fucking time in EIGHT fucking years. I got the letter Saturday and just went into a suicidal, catatonic state. That is why I wasn’t around and wasn’t answering the phone. Today, however, I am ANGRY. I am beyond ANGRY, I am ENRAGED. I am sick to death of being pushed through the cracks of the system. It happened to me as a child when I was being abused and it’s happening to me AGAIN.

I watch people around me getting their SSI for being addicted to Oxycontin and alcohol, yet I can’t get it for having TERMINAL cancer, ESRD, being legally blind and having multi-level disc degeneration in my spine (with multiple herniations). They said my pain is “mild” and that I don’t have serious stomach problems. WTF? I have to take a SHOT to make me take a shit, so I guess that’s not a problem huh? I hurt everytime I eat or drink. I puke more times a day than you can imagine, but I guess that’s normal, right?

I have cried and cried all weekend, but today, as I said, I am PISSED. I have been on a letter/e-mail writing campaign. I have written my governor, my 2 senators, my state representative AND the fucking President himself. I know I probably won’t get help from them, but you know what? I WILL have my voice heard. FUCK the government and fuck ever voting again. My votes don’t help me, they don’t make ONE damn difference. I wrote the President because it pains me that he took more time to pick out a fucking dog for his kids than to try and help people like ME. Yeah a dog is more important than me and you.

Our government does NOT care. The Social Security Administration doesn’t care. Hell, they have their hundreds of thousands of dollars a year jobs, they have health insurance, they have homes..they don’t have to BEG for money, so why should they give a shit?

I still sit here, with NO money in my wallet, NO insurance, NOTHING. I get NOTHING but a measly 200.00 a month is fucking food stamps. Woooopie, yay me. I have problems buying essentials that those fuckers in DC take for granted, like toilet paper, soap, shampoo, cleaning supplies, FOOD, MEDICINES. I am just a number to them–no I am less than that. I am NOTHING to them and I am sick to fucking death of it. The social security disability system needs a MAJOR overhaul. If they would put some time and effort into weeding out false claims and check out the alcoholics and drug addicts who are getting it, the people who are just too lazy to work…take it away from them…give it to people like ME who are really sick. Who aren’t trying to bilk the system. If I was a sorry ass piece of shit who is too lazy to work (like my brother in law who will be getting HIS SSI by August GRRR). If I was a drug addict, an alcoholic and a LIAR I would already have it. But being an honest person who is REALLY sick, I get fucked up the ass without so much as some lube and a thank you…

FUCK YOU GOVERNMENT. Where is MY help after I’ve been an upstanding citizen who worked all my life and paid taxes? Oh fuck you.

I’m out…

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5 Responses to “so I am fucking PISSED!”


  1. 1 butterflysblog
    June 15, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    You’re right to be pissed. Our government is failing you, and many sick/hurting people. They routinely deny three times, I am sorry to say. So, it is hopeful that if you apply one more time, it should be the magic number. 🙂

  2. June 16, 2009 at 10:32 am

    So sorry to hear that V. I am also in alot of pain every day. (some days more than others) but I find people dont believe me because I still work and support my kids and myself. They think I should be in a chair or bed bound if I really did hurt that much. It sucks that because I want to enjoy my life not focus on the pain I am then not believed. I think its the same for you they probably dont believe you because they know they are weak and would have given up by now so you just must not be that sick because you still try to function.

  3. 3 Rusty
    June 17, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    The deal is that Uncle Sam could care less about you, no matter how much you fork over in taxes.

    The nice thing is that some of the rest of us really do care about you. Yes, YOU, dammit!

  4. 4 D
    June 18, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Well, now you can strap on your gladiatorial mad power and fight yet again… but this time, hell will be unleashed! You will get what you need.

    I love you.

  5. 5 mysticspirit
    June 19, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Hi V,

    I can understand why you would be very upset by the system. I hope that one day everything will be resolved for you. I enjoyed reading your blog. Have you ever looked into hiring a Disability lawyer to help you with your case? Just wondering. Take care, Liz


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