i feel…

I feel:

  • Ugly
  • Stupid
  • Forgotten
  • Lonely
  • Sick
  • Tired
  • Abused
  • Let down
  • Put down
  • Objectified
  • Lost
  • Hopeless
  • Hurt
  • Frustrated
  • Needy
  • Stressed

I start chemo on monday….I will be on a continuous drip of 2 chemo drugs for 4 days…off 3 days with oral steroids, back on again, off again, on again….my doctor FINALLY writes me something for this awful pain and guess what?!?! I CAN’T AFFORD IT BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY! Wooopie. I am so happy–pissed…no one around me has money, so I am just fucking screwed. And the topper of it all is these meds will make me lose my fucking hair AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! Lucky  me…

My whole life seems like it’s been one abuse after another..if not from human beings from medications…I am sick of it. I am sick of having no money…being unable to buy my medications (which are, by the way, less than 50.00). I am just sick of it all…I’m trying REALLY hard not to cut right now. I have to stop typing now.

good night.

5 Responses to “i feel…”

  1. 1 D
    June 30, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    I’m sorry darling. I love you.

  2. 2 3starjimmy
    July 1, 2009 at 9:48 am

    Hang in There Val….
    Your Children, Family, and extended Family (US)….Love and Care about You.
    I had Given up on God until I found You, Now I pray for You every night.
    Please Don’t let this Messed up Disease Beat YOU, Don’t let Them win.

    You are Important to This World…….
    Your New Friend in Michigan,

  3. 3 reenie53
    July 1, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    You are important to alot of people V. Keep digging in and fighting for your health, your rights, your family. I’m really sorry you’re feeling beaten down alot of the time. You still have so much courage and strength and life inside of you.
    Take care.
    Peace, Maurine

  4. 4 D
    July 1, 2009 at 2:42 pm


  5. 5 butterflysblog
    July 3, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    I feel glad you are alive.

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The Boy Was Tired Of It All... by V is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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