Archive for July, 2009

26
Jul
09

are you happy?

26
Jul
09

what is CML?

I have had a lot of people ask me about CML, it’s kind of hard to describe what it is and what causes it. I have found two videos that explain it more thoroughly than I could…It also explains about the mutation and becoming “immune” to Gleevec (which is what happened to me). Anyhow, watch ’em if you want…and by the way,  they won’t pause on their own so you will have to pause the second one and watch the first one, then ….well yeah you get the picture. I’m out.

Part One:

Vodpod videos no longer available.
Part Two:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

23
Jul
09

no more dramaaaa

I made the drama post private. I can’t stand to look at it haha…I try so hard to be NON drama so when stuff like this happens I get very out of sorts and upset.

I am on my “rest period” now, 4 days on, 3 days off. Prednisone time. Have I said lately that I HATE steroids? The sweats, the jitters, the non-stop hunger, mood swings. Oh yeah it’s such nice stuff. You’d think the hunger would be good for me, since I need to gain weight, but the chemo makes me throw up, it really does suck. I hate the chemo worse, but I have to say as far as medications I have been on Prednisone runs a close second and Reglan a runner up at third hah!

I have to go see my lawyer today. I got my FCE report so we need to get it in to the SSA. The report looks REALLY good in my favor. No work using the upper body at ALL. I also got a call from one of the senators office yesterday and I have to say I am pleasantly surprised at how much they have all kept me informed. I’ve received  numerous letters, but yesterday was the first phone call, it shocked me haha.  They are federal government and honestly after all I have already been through with SSA, I don’t have a lot of faith in the federal government–well the government as a whole. So let’s hope they get something done and restore my faith in them a little bit…

My hands are really hurting right now. I need to stop typing.

I’m out.

22
Jul
09

Protected: Freakin’ idiots of the web.

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

19
Jul
09

just some random blathering…

Well, tomorrow I start week 3 of this continous chemotherapy drip. IT SUCKS. I have been through 5 rounds in 10 years and other than the first one they did to prep me for the bone marrow transplant this is THE worst. It makes me hurt ALL over. Even my skin hurts, it’s like the nerves are on edge or something. My clothes hurt to wear, the bedsheets hurt…I HATE it.

As I said in my other post, I shaved my head, I couldn’t watch it  just slowly fall out, it is just too painful. Now I am losing other body hair…I am pretty hairless naturally, no chest hair, back hair, butt cheek hair (haha). But I am losing my arm pit hair, and uhh, other places. I don’t like it. I DO NOT like it.  So what’s next–well my eyebrows and eyelashes…then I will look like a total fuckin’ alien.

My mother saw me the other day and just cried when she saw the bandana on my head. She said, “God baby, you’ve been through so much.”, heh, yeah, what an understandment. I’ve been through TOO much. My body isn’t what it used to be, and every fucking treatment they do on me weakens me more…weakens my body more. AH well, so goes life huh?

I know some of you think I don’t care, but I DO. So don’t give up on me…..I know some of you probably have, *sighs*. OK I can’t go there today, it will just  upset me. I have lost so many friends because of my illness, they either can’t handle it, or if I don’t do what they expect of me, they get upset and leave. It hurts and I can’t do this today. I can’t handle the upset….

Ok I think WordPress has a thing where you can rate my posts, blog, comments, etc. So have at it, just be nice for pete sakes hehe.

I’m out.

17
Jul
09

RIP Walter…

WOW, Walter Cronkite has died. He was a huge part of our household when I was a child. I remember watching him on the news with Mama every night. He was a good man, an honest man…he lived to the ripe old age of 92…wow. Rest in peace Walter….”and that’s the way it is”.

WalterCronkite

15
Jul
09

hair today..gone tomorrow..

Well, I woke up this morning with quite a bit of hair on my pillow *SIGH*. I then went to put it up in a ponytail, ran my fingers through my hair and came back with huge chunks of it.  I can’t slowly watch my hair leave me yet AGAIN, so I went into the bathroom, cut what I could and put it in a bag to give to Locks Of Love then buzz cut it, and shaved it slick. Yeah, I cried the whole time…

I hate cancer, I really hate it. I have puked so much, my eye whites are bloodied, every muscle in my body aches…I am so weak I can barely open a coke can. Cancer takes so much from a person, it’s a horrible disease, and I REALLY wish they would give up the cure for it. I know it’s out there……somewhere.

So yeah, all my long beautiful hair is gone again…and I sit here typing to you bald and wondering when the rest of my body hair is going to fall out.

I’m out.




Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Creative Commons License
The Boy Was Tired Of It All... by V is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://murderousthoughts.wordpress.com

who has been visiting?

how many have entered my mind?

  • 24,602 victims
July 2009
M T W T F S S
« Jun   Aug »
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031