Archive for the 'government issues' Category

09
Sep
09

repost this on your blogs please?

Got this from Peter Paige, and I am reposting it everywhere I can, would you please do the same? As many people as possible should see this before Obama’s health care speech tomorrow. Thanks!

Watch The Video

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23
Jul
09

no more dramaaaa

I made the drama post private. I can’t stand to look at it haha…I try so hard to be NON drama so when stuff like this happens I get very out of sorts and upset.

I am on my “rest period” now, 4 days on, 3 days off. Prednisone time. Have I said lately that I HATE steroids? The sweats, the jitters, the non-stop hunger, mood swings. Oh yeah it’s such nice stuff. You’d think the hunger would be good for me, since I need to gain weight, but the chemo makes me throw up, it really does suck. I hate the chemo worse, but I have to say as far as medications I have been on Prednisone runs a close second and Reglan a runner up at third hah!

I have to go see my lawyer today. I got my FCE report so we need to get it in to the SSA. The report looks REALLY good in my favor. No work using the upper body at ALL. I also got a call from one of the senators office yesterday and I have to say I am pleasantly surprised at how much they have all kept me informed. I’ve received  numerous letters, but yesterday was the first phone call, it shocked me haha.  They are federal government and honestly after all I have already been through with SSA, I don’t have a lot of faith in the federal government–well the government as a whole. So let’s hope they get something done and restore my faith in them a little bit…

My hands are really hurting right now. I need to stop typing.

I’m out.

22
Jun
09

God Bless Neda….*warning extremely graphic post*

Neda SoltaniNeda– her name means “The Calling or Voice”, how appropriate I suppose. Her own country men, Ahmadinejad’s hitmen, shot this 16 (SIXTEEN) year old baby as she stood in the streets with her father during the protesting in Iran. She was a freakin’ BABY for God sakes…they aimed and hit her straight in the heart…They fucking shot an unarmed CHILD. I am so furious about this…and I pray to God that Iran is finally freed from this reign of terror called Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

An email sent that explained the events:

“At 19:05 June 20th Place: Karekar Ave., at the corner crossing Khosravi St. and Salehi st. A young woman who was standing aside with her father watching the protests was shot by a basij member hiding on the rooftop of a civilian house. He had clear shot at the girl and could not miss her. However, he aimed straight her heart.

I am a doctor, so I rushed to try to save her. But the impact of the gunshot was so fierce that the bullet had blasted inside the victim’s chest, and she died in less than 2 minutes. The protests were going on about 1 kilometers away in the main street and some of the protesting crowd were running from tear gass used among them, towards Salehi St.

The film is shot by my friend who was standing beside me. Please let the world know.”

So she couldn’t be lucky enough to die instantly, the baby suffered for TWO long minutes…*SIGH*

WARNING!! The video is bloody and extremely graphic. Listen as her father cries out “Neda don’t be scared, Neda STAY! Neda don’t go!” Ah, my heart cries for this girl and her father.

If you want to see a more graphic video you can go here –> More  Graphic Video

As one person wrote on Twitter: “RIP NEDA, The World cries seeing your last breath, you didn’t die in vain. We remember you.”

15
Jun
09

so I am fucking PISSED!

fuck-youWell, just like I told everyone—the Disability Determination Unit turned me down AGAIN..for the third fucking time in EIGHT fucking years. I got the letter Saturday and just went into a suicidal, catatonic state. That is why I wasn’t around and wasn’t answering the phone. Today, however, I am ANGRY. I am beyond ANGRY, I am ENRAGED. I am sick to death of being pushed through the cracks of the system. It happened to me as a child when I was being abused and it’s happening to me AGAIN.

I watch people around me getting their SSI for being addicted to Oxycontin and alcohol, yet I can’t get it for having TERMINAL cancer, ESRD, being legally blind and having multi-level disc degeneration in my spine (with multiple herniations). They said my pain is “mild” and that I don’t have serious stomach problems. WTF? I have to take a SHOT to make me take a shit, so I guess that’s not a problem huh? I hurt everytime I eat or drink. I puke more times a day than you can imagine, but I guess that’s normal, right?

I have cried and cried all weekend, but today, as I said, I am PISSED. I have been on a letter/e-mail writing campaign. I have written my governor, my 2 senators, my state representative AND the fucking President himself. I know I probably won’t get help from them, but you know what? I WILL have my voice heard. FUCK the government and fuck ever voting again. My votes don’t help me, they don’t make ONE damn difference. I wrote the President because it pains me that he took more time to pick out a fucking dog for his kids than to try and help people like ME. Yeah a dog is more important than me and you.

Our government does NOT care. The Social Security Administration doesn’t care. Hell, they have their hundreds of thousands of dollars a year jobs, they have health insurance, they have homes..they don’t have to BEG for money, so why should they give a shit?

I still sit here, with NO money in my wallet, NO insurance, NOTHING. I get NOTHING but a measly 200.00 a month is fucking food stamps. Woooopie, yay me. I have problems buying essentials that those fuckers in DC take for granted, like toilet paper, soap, shampoo, cleaning supplies, FOOD, MEDICINES. I am just a number to them–no I am less than that. I am NOTHING to them and I am sick to fucking death of it. The social security disability system needs a MAJOR overhaul. If they would put some time and effort into weeding out false claims and check out the alcoholics and drug addicts who are getting it, the people who are just too lazy to work…take it away from them…give it to people like ME who are really sick. Who aren’t trying to bilk the system. If I was a sorry ass piece of shit who is too lazy to work (like my brother in law who will be getting HIS SSI by August GRRR). If I was a drug addict, an alcoholic and a LIAR I would already have it. But being an honest person who is REALLY sick, I get fucked up the ass without so much as some lube and a thank you…

FUCK YOU GOVERNMENT. Where is MY help after I’ve been an upstanding citizen who worked all my life and paid taxes? Oh fuck you.

I’m out…

28
May
09

Reminder :-)

My first talk show is tonight at 6:00pm Eastern/3:00pm Pacific. I didn’t choose a topic to talk about because this show is basically just about getting my feet wet, learning the controls and things like that. So whatever you all want to discuss we will talk about. 🙂 Once I get into the groove I will have specific topics for the shows, and hopefully some awesome surprises!

Just go to my show page Mad As A Hatter to tune in. I will have the chatroom opened about 15 minutes before the show starts. Once you are at my page the blue player at the top SHOULD start automatically (once my show is on air) so you can listen and if you scroll down the page just a teeny bit, the chat should be there. I am crossing my fingers that it all works like it should hahaha.

Make an account there (it’s free) and fave my show AND friend me! Hope to see you all there and TALKING to me. You can also chat in the chat room with anyone else there AND with me. 🙂

See ya there.

23
May
09

Protected: i need HELP! :-(

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25
Mar
09

tests

mriI am very nervous right now. I have to have 2 MRI’s of my brain tomorrow. Those start at 1:45 pm. I also have to have tons of blood work done before I go in for the MRI. I am terrified, because I am SO claustrophobic. I tell them EVERY TIME they do an MRI on me that I HAVE to keep my arms up and over my head or I can’t do it. They try to make me keep my arms at my sides, but I feel too closed in,  like when “Dad” used to lock me in closets, small wooden boxes in the garage…you get the picture. So I hope the person doing my MRI tomorrow is understanding. I am also going to have to have an IV with the contrast dye, which I am deathly allergic too. I seriously go into anaphalytic shock and stop breathing. So I have to take meds beforehand to keep that from happening. So I will be all loopy and fucked up when I get there. I get MORE nervous when I am like that, because I feel like people can hurt me or take advantage of me more easily. GOD! It’s all so stupid, I know, but I can’t help it!!

They don’t know if the 2 tumors I have are growing again, which would mean more radiation, and of course they will want me to do another round of chemo (which I won’t do,  not ever again). OR if I have a new tumor somewhere. That is scary. If it IS a new one, it might be the same as the other two, which are slow growers.  They also think I have had another couple of TIA’s (mini strokes), since I had the first one back in January. He said if the MRI’s of my brain doesn’t show growth of the 2 tumors or a new tumor, then my new problems are probably coming from my heart. *SIGH* This shit kills me.  I take meds to literally keep me alive, to keep me from going into blast crisis, yet the meds I take to keep me alive, ruin my organs. My kidney (yeah I lost one kidney to the cancer already) has failed. I am on home hemodialysis  3 days a week now. I take over 22, no wait 24 different meds (I forgot the newest ones *sigh*), I have neuropathy, which I am sure some of the meds I take have made worse. It’s such a vicious cycle.

I am in horrible pain today. I wish the SSI office would get my case done already, let me know something one way or the other. MY GOD I need that insurance, the monthly income. Then I can actually KNOW I can make it to the pain management doctor every month AND afford the meds, because I will have Medicaid. If they turn me down again, (for the third time), I don’t know what I will do, or how I will react. Last time my lawyer fucked me over and caused me to miss my deadline for my appeal, I was so suicidal. I just wanted to die. I don’t know how I will feel if they do this to me AGAIN. For the THIRD fucking time. I don’t know how much time I DO have left on this earth. I am on borrowed time now. 😦 Will I see a dime before I die? FUCK it makes me sooooo mad to even talk about it. I worked from the time I was 15 years old, for the same company. I worked my ass off and got promotions. At the height of my career, I was making 135k a year. Yes one hundred and thirty five thousand dollars a year. I had A+ credit. I paid fucking taxes out the wazoo. Yet when *I* need help, what do I get? Hmm, let’s see. I lost my quarter of a million I had in savings. Yeah that was gone fast, paying for treatments and things. So now I have NO money in the bank. My credits has went to shit because I owe so many GOD DAMN medical bills. I don’t mean just a few. I am talking well over half a million or more in medical bills. I WOULD fucking work if I could, GOD I wish every day I could get up, get dressed and go to work. I miss it. I was a workaholic, now I feel useless a lot of the time. 😦 Anyhow, I digress. So for paying all those taxes what do I get when *I* need help? I get a whole 176.00 a month in food stamps. That’s it. They are still fighting my disability. They won’t give me medicaid (insurance) because even though ALL of my doctors have declared me terminally ill (YES I AM DYING), disabled…the GOVERNMENT hasn’t yet. So until I get that award letter in my hand, no insurance, more and more medical bills piling up on me and that also means I STILL can’t afford pain management. Which means I am in FUCKING pain…severe fucking pain. I guess it’s good that I have Autism, because I have a very high tolerance for pain, I would HATE to think of what I would feel like if I could feel all of my pain. No, I know what I would do if I could, I would kill myself. I couldn’t handle it. The pain right now is almost unbearable. It hurts to sit, stand or lay. And I can’t get fucking help because I can’t pay out my asshole for the pain management doctor.

AH GOD I went off on a rant, didn’t I? Well, I guess you get to deal with my randomness and bitchiness today, don’t you? HAH…I am going to stop typing right now, because the pain is just so bad it’s hurting to type. I just ask that you keep me in your thoughts as I go through the MRI’s tomorrow, and hope it’s nothing too serious. I have enough on my plate already. 😦

I’m out!




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