Archive for the 'Memories' Category


the most awesome thing!!

Ace Frehley has made my little girl K his number one fan!!  Let me go back for a second.

ace1Ace sent me his new album Anomaly about 2 weeks early (before it was released to the public). Well me and my girls have listened to it over and over, it’s amazing! Part of the CD is a “pyramid” you can make from the insert, so this past Sunday K asked me if we could finally build it. We did and she asked me if we could take a picture of her with the Anomaly CD, packaging and the “Pyramid”. We took the pic and she asked me if I could send it to Kymm (Ace’s publicist) and to Ace himself. So sure, I sent it to Kymm and Ace, I figured they would both get a kick out of it. Soooo….

Yesterday I got an email from Kymm saying that Ace has made K his number ONE fan and to go check out his website. I was puzzled and curious. I went to his site and I have to say I burst into tears. There was my little girl’s face and Ace was using her picture (Which he added cool fonts and things too) to sell his CD which came out yesterday! K is on top of the world and feels like a princess. She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her! So you can check it out, make sure you have pop ups enabled, and see her there! ūüôā go to Ace’s Official Site

Thank you, Ace, for making my little girl SO happy, for being so good to us as¬†a family, for everything. We can’t wait to meet you on the road! I hope K’s sweet little face sells you MILLIONS of CD’s!! GO now, and buy ANOMALY, it’s amazing! Ace is back and he told you so! ūüėČ

Also thanks to Kymm for being super sweet and caring!!


where were you?


When it happened, I was going through chemo, I had woken up feeling sick and turned on the TV. I was shocked, I thought it was some kind of sick joke at first…then I cried, now I sit here crying again. None of us will ever be the same after that day….I remember….




HappyBirthday_Peaceful_LavenderToday is my daughter Mel’s birthday. It’s SO hard to believe that she is 20 today. The same age I was when she was born. I have raised her, watched her grow and now….she’s not a teen anymore, she’s a grown woman and my heart does kind of ache. I miss our “dates” when she was little. Every Saturday night, I would turn off my pager and cellphone, no work, no distractions, nothing but me and my Mel. She would pick a place to eat and we would go out on our “date”. I remember holding her tiny hand in mine…oh man I am going to cry. I wouldn’t change anything in our life together. Sure it was hard raising her alone from birth…but I KNOW I did a damn good job. She is loving, kind, intelligent, empathetic, proud, outspoken about things she believes in. I am SO proud of her. She’s a beautiful young woman now *le sigh*.

I love you baby. From the day you were born I was IN love with you. I have watched you grow, go through trying times and come out the strong and beautiful woman you are today. You will always be Daddy’s girl……*SIGH* Happy Birthday honey!

I will¬†post pictures later. ūüôā


two in one post…….

Today I have 2 anniversaries–

I lost my Papa 35 years ago today, but the pain of losing him has never lessened. I always ache for him, I always miss him and I always wonder what my life would have been like if he wasn’t taken away from me. For years I was angry at him for leaving me, now I just feel a void inside, and a piece of my heart died with him. HIS piece of my heart. Papa, I miss you terribly bad, I really wish you were here, I need you so much, especially right now. One day, I will see you again and I can’t wait for one of those amazing hugs you used to give me….I love you, my Papa. FOREVER.









Today is mine and D’s 3rd anniversary. We are starting on year four together. D–I love you and I always will. Nothing could change that. You are imprinted on my heart and my soul. I know I am not quite the man you married, and I am sorry for that. Cancer has taken it’s toll on me. I am not the pretty, long haired boy you fell in love with. Sometimes I feel like a shell of that….but cancer hasn’t changed my love for you. Nothing could change it…it only grows. I don’t know what else to say, except Happy Anniversary and I love you…..



my talk show tonight! (please read)

Tonight at 6:00pm Eastern time I will be having my talk show. Tonight’s subject is Child Abuse And It’s Affect On Adult Survivors. You can join the chat and listen to the show by going to my show page HERE.

I would love for you to call in and talk with me about your experiences OR to ask me questions about my abuse, my blog, etc. The number to call in is : (646) 716-9673 , that is a permanent number for my show so you can always use it when I am on the air.

Tonight’s show is very important to me and I hope it will be to you. I want to hear your experiences, your thoughts.¬† Even if you aren’t a survivor/victim and you advocate or have strong opinions on this issue please call in!

I also have an official website for my show. I am working on the layout and content now and when it is ready to be unveiled I will give you all the link. I plan on having a forum for survivors there, a safe place we can all talk privately. Again, I will let you know when I launch it! ūüôā

Hope to see you all at my show in just a few short hours!



For D…

This post is for my lovely wife D…this is another one of our early songs…It came on my playlist a few minutes ago and I felt the need to put it on here for her to always have to see, even when I am gone. I love you honey…


may 13th, a good and bad day for me…..

Happy Birthday Papa…I love you SO much. I wish you hadn’t have been taken from me when I was so young. I needed you, I STILL need you so badly. I am sorry for being so angry with you, I know now you didn’t want to leave me, you had no choice. I am dealing with brain cancer now, just like you did back then. It’s not fun…and it’s scary and now I have to wonder when I am going to have to leave MY kids. Not that I will want to, it’s just that I will have no choice. Now I know what you¬†must have been feeling. The pain of¬† leaving me…I have the same pain when I think of¬†leaving my kids…it hurts so bad.

I always wondered how different my life would have been if you had lived–if you had taken me away from the abuse. I know you would have, wouldn’t you? I remember that look in your eyes when you put your hand under my shirt that day in your hospital bed and felt the welts and cuts…I saw the pain and anguish. I am so sorry, I am so sorry Papa. I didn’t mean to make your last few days on earth more¬†painful. Please forgive me for that….I only wanted to be near you…to have you touch me like you always did, it made me feel safe. I shouldn’t have climbed into your bed that day…then you wouldn’t have known what he was doing to me and you wouldn’t have died knowing–died thinking about him abusing me. I know it made it even harder on you to go home. I am so sorry–I hope you have forgiven me for that……..I love you so much. I think about you EVERY DAY of my life. I have since you left…and I always will. One day I know I will see you again–I want to feel your hugs and kisses again. Smell that smell of your cologne…hear that laugh. I can’t wait to hear you say my name in that Greek accent. I miss you………………

Now for you “Dad” I know today is your birthday too. I FUCKING HATE that you share a birthday with my Papa. It makes me SICK!! The thoughts of you always have to cloud his birthday for me…you fucking asshole. I hate you! Yet you live another year, while my Papa had to die, the one that was good to me. And you just HAD to call me today to try and make me wish you a happy birthday….you make me fucking sick. You are evil…mean and evil!! FUCK YOU! Just fuck you. - The internets fastest growing blog directory

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