Posts Tagged ‘arthritis


no catchy subject today…

Well, we got snowed in this morning and I was not able to go to my SS appointment OR the neuro, but the lady from the SS office called me and we did my application over the phone and she is going to let me bring in my MRI reports and other medical records I want to go with the application to the DDU (Disability Determination Unit). She was VERY nice and that was a good thing for me, it made the process a bit easier. She was very understanding and kept saying “Bless your heart”, to everything I told her that was wrong…I wanted to say–make a note lady saying “The guy REALLY is sick, give him the damn disability already” HAHAHA.

The neuro appointment I am going to re-schedule. I saw my regular doctor yesterday, he was worried about my TIA’s and said I would probably have to go on Plavix, but he wasn’t going to give it to me until I saw the neurologist and got his opinion on it, because it can be dangerous. Joy, joy, that’s what I need, more dangerous medications.

Speaking of meds, I got my Neurontin yesterday. Chris (the patient advocate) saw me walking in the hall of the clinic and pulled me into his office. I just love him to bits, he’s gay and SO nice, sweet and funny. He really tries his dead level best to get my meds as cheap as he can or for free. I got three HUGE pharmacy bottles of Neurontin. I started titrating the dosage yesterday, I took one, today I will take two and tomorrow I will take three and will stay at three a day for a while (900 mg’s a day) and my dr. said we can work up to 4800 mg’s a day if needed, WOW, 4800 mg’s, sheesh. When I was naming off my medications to the lady at the SS office, she was astonished at how many I am on, I had to laugh at her. Shit I am on so many that I forget what they are unless I put the bottles in front of me. I am forever starting “new meds”. I started the Neurontin yesterday along with a muscle relaxer. The muscle relaxer is suppose to “try” to help my massive spasms in my neck that are straightening my spine *le sigh*. I swear to GOD I am a walking pharmacy…anyone need anything??? LMAO!!!

I am sitting up here in bed, on the  laptop, looking out my window. It is snowing, fucking cold and pretty outside. We are suppose to have the coldest weather yet this year today and tomorrow. We are only going to have a high in the lower teens today and tonight a low of 4 degrees with wind chills well below zero. My ass is staying INSIDE. Tomorrow is more of the same, brrrrrrrr.

Now on to FOOD, one of my favorite subjects haha!! I have a roast cooking on low in my crock pot, YUM. I have potatoes, carrots and sweet vidalia onions in there with it. I can’t wait to eat it later this evening haha. D always says, “Ewww you are eating flesh again?”. Mmm, yes baby, I am hahaha. Weird how I am such a meat eater and she is such a vegetarian, but we still love each other, don’t we honey? hehehehe…

I am still weak from the TIA’s, sleepy and dizzy from all the meds…I just want to lay in bed and do nothing but sleep and maybe play pogo. Do any of you play Pogo? If you do, tell me, we could play some games together. I don’t really play games with strangers, I guess it’s part of my autism, but I worry they will be mean to me *sigh*. I get sick of playing the robots sometimes. I have a club pogo membership, D and Jerilyn always make sure it’s paid up by the year for me, because I don’t do much else online but blog, DJ and play pogo. So I am thankfully that they let me have my paid membership. If any of you play and want to try the club pogo, I can give you a free five day guest pass, weeee! Just let me know!!

Ok I am done typing, my eyes are unfocused and my arms and hands hurt. More later!!!!


I am back…I think! ;-)

I am getting antsy so I hope blogging and DJing will cure that. I got up on Saturday I think it was and started to clean my room and the bathroom up here (I live in an apartment with two floors), and Kevin caught me and scolded me hahaha, “Get your ass back in bed NOW.” Sure, sure Kevin. I did as he told me, but I grumbled about it. I know I shouldn’t have been doing it, because I got very weird feeling in my head afterwards, but I felt like a useless nothing just sitting here in the bed on the laptop playing Pogo. I need to feel somewhat productive, hence me starting back to DJing tonight. Cross your fingers, toes, eyes, legs and anything else you can cross that it all works out ok for me tonight 😉 .

I have to see my regular doctor tomorrrow at 1:30, then I see the neurologist about my TIA (mini-stroke) on Thursday. I also file for my disability yet AGAIN on Thursday morning at 8:45 AM. Joy, joy, getting up early and going to the SSA office is NOT my ideal morning haha, but I hope I FINALLY get it. I really pray with MedAssist helping me they will push it through and I will get my SSI this time. Again, pray, cross whatever you can, light candles, whatever. HELP me manifest this SSI. I need the money and I need the Medicaid most of all.

Ok I am tired of typing. My arms hurt, I feel dizzy, gonna rest a few before my show. It’s in an hour and 15 minutes. Good luck me.

Write more later.


MRI Results, Autism And The Death Of Jett Travolta…

I AM Autistic And Proud!!

I AM Autistic And Proud!!

Oh God, how painfully sad that Jett Travolta passed away. I feel so bad for John and Kelly–I could NOT imagine having to bury one of my children, it would destroy me. People are wondering why John didn’t admit his son was autistic (he was, I am PROUDLY autistic and I know another autistic when I see them), well he didn’t admit it because his “church” (I say that loosely) the Church Of Scientology doesn’t recognize autism, so John couldn’t very well admit his son had something that his church would frown upon. He would have been marked by the “church” as a “degraded being”. They (The church) believe members can cure themselves by working harder on the church’s teachings (uh huh riiight). John says he had Kawasaki syndrome–yeah when he was TWO. The syndrome normally affects children under the age of five and only last a few days. It is highly doubtful that Jett suffered from that disease for 14 years.

I respect everyone’s beliefs, even if I don’t understand or like it. I do have a problem however, with religions who won’t allow their members to seek medical care. God gave doctors the knowledge because He intended us to USE them. I frown upon religions who push their members out because they don’t agree with one thing or the other. I had an uncle who was a Jehovah’s Witness, and I saw with my own two eyes as he turned his back on his two sons because they grew up and left the “church”. That is not religion and it surely isn’t within God’s teaching to love your fellow man, but I digress–My point of this was that if John had admitted his son had autism, he could have treated it, helped Jett, helped others. He could have put another “famous” face on autism, but he chose to ignore it. That is sad. Now don’t get me wrong, I am NOT condemning John or Kelly, it just makes me sad that a person would allow a religion to dictate their whole life. I feel HORRIBLY bad for them, my heart goes out to them and their daughter. I wish them peace and strength. I cried when I saw Jett had died, because as I said above, I can’t imagine the pain of burying your child. I feel for them.

Now onto my MRI results. When I went for the CT scan of my tummy on Friday, the lady that was doing my CT scan was SO very nice and I was asking her if it might be possible for her to get me a copy of my MRI report. She said “I can do one better, I will burn the images of your MRI and the report onto a CD for you.” Wow, how nice. I will put a few pics here so you can see my spine haha. Anyhow, the MRI shows that I DO have a herniation in the C6-C7 space of my neck (that is near the shoulder blades). My spine is also straightening where it should be curved, that is being caused by, and I quote from the report, “Massive Spasms” in my neck area *SIGH*. My pain is getting worse every day, the weakness in my left arm is so bad now, the numbness is worse. I don’t know how much more of this pain I can take. It IS the worst pain I have ever felt in my life (and that is saying something, because I have been in some major pain), the pain is CONSTANT, I get NO relief, even the narcotics aren’t helping me. They have to do something. They just have to. I called my doctor and left a message that I had the report, I am just waiting on him to call me back and I guess we will go from there.  I have to see the surgeon tomorrow for the report on the CT Scan of my tummy to see if there ARE adhesions and what we need to do. *SIGH* If it is not one thing, it’s another in my life. I am really tired of it.

Oh an update on the donations to get me into pain management. So far lovely people have sent 180.00–that means I am just 70.00 shy of my first visit. Hopefully I will get that soon, I really need it, so bad. So thank you to everyone who HAS donated so far. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. It means everything to me.

Ok I am going to shut up now, my arm hurts too bad. Write more later!

OOPS–I forgot to include my MRI images…D’oh. I blacked out my personal info, such as my SSN and things like that.



Doctor’s appointment and general bitching…

So I had my doctor appointment yesterday. First off he checked my belly button area and said he didn’t feel a hernia, so the hernia repair is still ok, BUT, he thinks I may have adhesion’s (scar tissue) in that area and it might have some of my intestine blocked *SIGH*. I have to see the surgeon on Tuesday the 30th and I will know more about that. Now on to my back pain. This pain in my upper back/neck area is some of THE worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I am losing control of my left arm, both arms are weak, it’s hard to type, I have to rest a lot when I type blogs, etc., I can’t really write at all, it is affecting my memory, the way I walk, my speech *SIGH*. The pain is a constant deep, burning ache that never goes away. It runs down my left arm to my fingers (I am a lefty so this is NOT good). It is now hurting a bit on the right side as well. Every now and again it feels like bee stings or electric shocks are running through the area and it makes my whole body jerk with the pain. My doctor said that it is definitely spinal compression, we just have to find out what is causing the compression. Since I was diagnosed with DDD (Degenerative Disc Disease)/Arthritis of my spine when I was 8 years old, is it THAT? You know, herniated discs, it is bone spurs or GOD forbid is it cancer that has spread to my spine and a tumor is pushing on my spinal column? I will know more after my MRI which is also Tuesday the 30th. My doctor said regardless of WHAT it is I still have to have surgery. So it’s not a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN it will happen. We have to figure out first what is causing the compression, then we have to find a neurologist who will see me and do the surgery for me, because I still have NO fucking insurance (thanks to the government still fighting my disability, the assholes).

He put me on Neurontin…has anyone who reads me ever taken it? I don’t know what to expect from it. It’s SUPPOSE to help with nerve pain. I won’t get it for at least 3 weeks though, because it is expensive and I have to wait for the drug company who makes it to approve me and give me my 3 months free supply *SIGH*.  My doctor IS so good though, he knows I am in real pain, and he is the one who said he and other primary care physicians can’t write narcotics on a regular basis. Well, he gave me my tramadol with NO questions asked (THANK GOD), and he wrote me Vicodin (not the BEST narcotic for pain, but better than nothing) to do me until I get the Neurontin. He really does do everything he can to help me. He actually calls me at home to ask me how I am and things like that. I have NEVER had a doctor do those things for me. He’s wonderful, just wonderful. I am blessed to have found him.

Now for the bitching. My ex doctor should have LISTENED to me on so many levels, but he didn’t. I TOLD him about the pain in my upper back/neck area about 8 months ago, he just put me on more pain meds, didn’t x-ray it, didn’t touch me to check the area, NOTHING. I told him a year or more ago about my heart beating weirdly, he dismissed that and didn’t do any testing. Now I find out that my heart IS damaged, it is not properly pumping blood to my body. My neck/upper back area IS fucked up. He DID NOT listen to me, he dismissed everything I said, just giving me more and more narcotics and stupid me thought–“Well, he IS a doctor, I guess he knows best.”–how stupid I was *SIGH*. I have spoken to other patients of his, he NEVER diagnoses ANYTHING, he simply gives out more and more pain pills. He is a pill mill, a fucking pill mill. I told D last night that I AM suing him. I am going to start looking for lawyers after Christmas. He is NOT going to get away with what he’s done to me. If he had listened to me, to my complaints of pain, would my heart have not been so damaged? Would my spine problems have been lessened? Because of him, I now have irreversible heart damage, I am facing paralysis because of the compression of my spine, and I have to wonder if he is not partially at fault for my kidney failure. Did all the damn medications he had me on hurt my only kidney and cause it to slowly fail? *SIGH* I am SO very pissed off right now. I want to sue his ass– I am also going to report him to the AMA and the KY board of physicians. I wouldn’t be surprised if they found out he was defrauding Medicaid and such.

So anyhow, I do have SOME pain relief thanks to my new wonderful doctor. Thanks to the ex doctor I have to have spine surgery or be paralyzed, what a choice to make huh? Hmm, do I want them to cut my throat and go in to work on my spine or do I want to just wait until it compresses so bad I am paralyzed–*shakes my head*–I am on dialysis and will be the rest of my life and my heart is damaged.


FUCK YOU Dr. Butthead! GAH! I am so upset, so very upset. All evening yesterday and since I have been up this morning, I have went between crying my eyes out to raging like a bull. I am PISSED. I am scared and I am in FUCKING pain–thanks Dr. Asshole, thanks a lot.


bad pain..

i am going to the er tonight..i was going to wait until tomorrow morning but the pain is too bad, i am losing feeling in my left left shoulder and left side of my upper back have no feeling..i have face numbness and i have fallen twice in the last hour..i am scared…..wish me luck. - The internets fastest growing blog directory

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