Posts Tagged ‘kindness

27
Jan
09

be inspired!

We all go through life bitching about one thing or the other, from having no money, to life dealing us a shitty hand. You want to complain and bitch about the mundane…then you see something like this:

And you see that our lives aren’t so bad, there is always someone in more pain, having more problems than we are.

I LOVE this guys inspirational message he sends out to people everywhere. His philosophy is a lot like mine. STRENGTH, you have to have strength to deal with life. I know I would be dead already without being so stubborn and strong. I would have given up the first time I contemplated suicide for the first time at 8 years old. You see, I have fallen so many times and had to pull myself  back up, but I did, and no matter WHAT, I kept going, kept trudging on. We all have the strength to get back up, but sometimes in all the crap we go through in life we forget that. Then we see something like this…and it makes us cry (well it did me) and makes us see that life isn’t SO terrible and we CAN get back up — no matter WHAT knocks us to the ground.

Thanks Nick Vujicic  for being a HERO!  You can also check out his other site Attitude Is Altitude.

That’s it for today. More later.

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20
Nov
08

Can only go up from here.

Let’s see…in the past two weeks I have been betrayed, started dialysis and some new medications,  been abused again by “dad”, cleared my life of bullshit “friends” and stalkers on myspace and nearly lost someone who means the world to me. To say I can only go up from here is an understatement I suppose. I am at rock bottom, I have never felt so low nor been so low in my life. I want goodness and love in my life from now on. I am tired of crying until I feel I might burst, I am tried of feeling like my heart is so shattered that I will never be able to put it back together. I want to move on.

Dori–I love you, I can’t say much more than that. You know how much, or you should. I try very hard to be upbeat and happy in spite of my illness and emotional struggles. I know some days I fail miserable at that, but even in the misery of myself, I still love you. We are solid, and we will survive all of this mess. I have faith in that. We haven’t come this far to just give up.

Steve–You betrayed me in the worst possible ways, you threw away a friendship that spanned so many years, age 9 remember? It blows my mind that you would do the things you did, say the things you said. I will NEVER understand why, and until you can give me a DAMN good explanation I don’t want to see you, hear from you or talk to you. You have shattered me. Thanks.

Kevin–I know you are so put in the middle of all of this and I am sorry. I love you so much, I have since that day we met on the playground when we were 8 years old. You are so good to me and I will NEVER be able to repay you for all you have done, all you will continue to do. You are a shining star, with the biggest heart I have ever seen.

“Dad”– FUCK YOU, you have NO MORE power over me. I have given you far too much already. You brainwashed me from the day I was born and I am sick of falling down to my knees like a little boy every time you approach me. NO MORE. You will not hurt me again, not mentally, physically, sexually. NO NO NO. I am done–no more. No more. Go away, just go away.

I am taking the night off of DJing, I am too emotionally fucked tonight to put 100% into it and I won’t do it if I can’t give my listeners my full attention. I am worn down from crying, I haven’t slept and I just need today to rest and recoup. I will try to be on air again tomorrow night.

I want no more bullshit in my life, no more stalkers, no more false friends. I want love, kindness, understanding and compassion. Period. I want to live out whatever life I have left in peace and happiness. I don’t think that is too much to ask. So–it’s only UP from here. I know I will have depressed days from my illness and treatments, that is to be expected and it’s natural. What is not natural is letting people hurt me over and over again. I am NO LONGER a doormat. I say NO MORE. I only want nice people in my life. So if you are nice, talk to me, if not, please–go away.




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