Posts Tagged ‘Music



Well, life is just life right now. My pain is pretty bad, it seems to be getting worse. The degenerative problems with my spine are worse and my dr. thinks that something (a disc) is pushing on a nerve root in my lower back. I can’t stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time. It SUCKS. I am having what they call “occipital migraines” you can google it. It’s scary and I am not just having them occasionally, I am having 2 or 3 a DAY. I am calling my doctor in the morning so I can go see him about it. Something isn’t right, I hope we can find out what IS causing me to have them so frequently.

My Idol

My Idol

I do have to say I am on CLOUD NINE interview with my idol Ace Frehley! We seemed to get on well and he was laughing and stuff with me. When he mentioned the tour, I told him he had to come to Kentucky and he said something like “Yes and you need to be backstage”. WOOO HOOOOO! I am also talking to his awesome publicist Kymm and she is sending me the CD when it drops in September. I got to review the CD before the interview, and I listened to the whole thing and I have to say it’s AMAZING. There are a couple of surprise songs on there that I love like, “A little below the angels” and “Change the world”, “gengis khan” was also great. YOU need to pick up Anomaly when it comes out on September 15th. I am also working on getting a few other HUGE celebs in on the show. I can’t say who yet, but keep watching my tweets! 😉

I just want to say to Ace, thank you sooo much for letting me interview, for being so nice and caring. I appreciate it more than you know. Any other interview I have after this one will pale in comparison haha. Ace you are, as you always will be, my idol. YOU are the one who inspired me to play guitar, your music solo and with KISS got me through such a bad childhood…oh hell I just don’t have the words, just THANK YOU!

I’m tired now…..I’m out.


have you seen my childhood?

To me, this is THE most poignant song Michael Jackson every wrote. I have always loved it and cried when I hear it…because *I* lost my childhood as well…I am child-like…I am also eccentric and misunderstood….*sigh* anyhow…Have you seen MY childhood?


Have you seen my Childhood?
I’m searching for the world that I come from
‘Cause I’ve been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart…
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities…
‘Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me…

People say I’m not okay
‘Cause I love such elementary things…
It’s been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I’ve never known…

Have you seen my Childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I’ve never known…

Have you seen my Childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I’ve had

Have you seen my Childhood...


DJing and other things (email me for password) ;-)

I’ve been asked why I am not DJing for HHR anymore. Well….to be honest, I was tired of the way things were ran over there. I was being left out of the loop by all the other DJ’s…wasn’t told about things that were going on, etc. I was there with the station from the beginning . For around a month it was only me and her DJing. I always felt like that station was part mine, until the last month or so…I felt I was being pushed out by her and the other DJ’s. I have suggested to her MANY ways to build up the station and the listener base, but she just disregarded everything I said. She asked me for some music to put on our “Mystery DJ” (aka auto DJ) list. I worked for two damn days trying to get a good mix of ALL genre’s of music for her. I sent it and ………she NEVER used one damn song I sent. I had numerous complaints about “Auto”, how the list wasn’t good, how we needed more modern music and some rock. I told her, did she listen? NOPE. I tried to help her get advertising to generate money for the station. Did she check out anything I showed her? NOPE. I tried to bring in listeners, but she just kept driving them away by not taking my suggestions about the type of music she needed on HER list and AUTO’s list (which are actually one in the same).

The straw that broke the camel’s back is when I was so sick a couple of week’s ago and not ONE of them even checked on me, not ONE of them asked me how I was feeling. NOTHING. Happy is also not as “happy” as she seems on air. She is very histrionic, she’s very “hot and cold”. I never knew how she was going to act from day to day. She once told me, not long ago, that she didn’t have any friends, even ME. That was like a slap in the face, it hurt me so much. Especially considering I was with her and the station from the beginning.

I think they were upset because I got more listeners than the rest of them. Well FUCK, I can’t help it. I didn’t tell people to tune into me and leave when my show was over. They made that choice themselves. But — most people liked my list because I have a bit of EVERYTHING, not just oldies, which Happy seemed to be stuck in on her list. I have had people tell me since I left that she lost the best DJ she had. Well, I don’t know about that, but I do know I couldn’t stay there any longer. I couldn’t stay in a place where my voice didn’t mean anything.

Soooo, I WILL be DJing again soon I hope. I am going to start my own station. I have one friend who is going to help me start it up. I just have to get the money for the first month and find someone who is good with PHP to build the website. I am already working in the background with a layout for the site, a name for the station, etc. I will be placing ads for DJ’s online as well (if you are interested, let me know!!). I want everything in place and ready when the station starts. The station will also be uncensored. Now that doesn’t mean my DJ’s will be cursing a blue streak on air, NO, that is unprofessional, but the music will be uncensored. I mean that is what internet radio IS about, being free to play and hear what you want, without FCC regulations!

Any suggestions for station names, any donations to get it up and running are SO welcome. If you want to DJ, just let me know. I will give you the software you need, train you, etc.!!  If you want to donate, MAN would that be appreciated, and you will be recognized on the site as a supporter.

Ok that’s it for now. I will write more later! Wish me luck with the station. I am itching to get back on air with you guys!! I have LOTS of great ideas for the station (as in types of fun shows, etc.) that I think you will like!

I’m out!


i’m alive and well….

This will be a short post, but I just wanted to let you all know I am alive and ok. I have been fighting pneumonia for 2 weeks now. The doctor has me on one more round of antibiotics and now more Prednisone, blah I hate this shit. It makes me sweat, makes me jittery and nervous, I hate it and I have to take it for 9 more days *le sigh*.  Dialysis is going ok, it just really took it out of me with the pneumonia on top of things…I am waiting to hear about my disability *SIGH* I hope they just give it to me this time and don’t make me jump through fucking hoops. So all of you keep your eyes, legs, fingers, toes and anything else crossed for me you can haha.

I have also been away from my DJing for 2 weeks…couldn’t talk long without a huge coughing fit, but tonight I am back! Yup, I have had a lot of people writing me to ask when I was coming back, people were asking D. SOOOO I am here to tell you it is tonight in about an hour, 8:00 pm ET. You know how to get there…just click the banner link —-> on the right side and tune in. If you request and put your name and all, I will bump your first song up to the top of the queue!

I have many things that have happened since I last blogged, but I am not going to go into them right now, I don’t want to get sad or pissed before my show. These steroids are making me grumpy enough haha!

I hope you will all come tune into my show and say hi! Blog more later!


I won another award!!!

I won another award!! This one comes from mile191 , you should check out her blog it’s great!! Thank you mile, so very much! You made me smile today!

Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons Award

Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons Award

Instructions for awardees:
please share this opportunity with your favorite bloggers by doing the following:
  1. Put the logo on your blog!
  2. Nominate at least 10 blogs, which show great attitude and/or gratitude!
  3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post
  4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog
  5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

Hmmmm, I don’t know that I have 10, but I will give it to a few here! In no particular order:

  • My wife D, she has had a rough year like a lot of us have and she ALWAYS has a smile for me and for others. She is always giving out advice and being inspirational to those who need it. She always knows how to take life’s lemons and make delicious lemonade! I love you honey!
  • Mr. Fabulous–My Kev. He suffers from MS, he has fought hard for gay rights, he was in a serious car crash and nearly died, yet he always maintains a smile for everyone. He is always upbeat and makes others laugh, despite what he is going through. He takes care of me and loves me no matter what. He takes his lemons and makes not only lemonade, but he serves it with a slice of rainbows and happiness!  I love you too Kev!
  • Butterfly, of course. Her blog inspires me, and we have so much in common. She is another survivor who is strong! I admire her so very much!!
  • Aria–Another survivor who always uses her lemons for lemonade. She writes honestly, with a side of snark that I LOVE! She is an awesome person…
  • May We Dance Upon Their Graves–I haven’t gotten to know her yet, but her blog is powerful and I relate to it SO much! Another survivor who is very, very strong!
  • Donnie D–I can’t give out an award and NOT give one to Donnie. He is a survivor who is struggling like me, everyday, but it he doesn’t let it get him down. He blogs about many serious issues and I so much enjoy reading everything he writes!
  • RightsForMothers.Com–This is a powerful blog that you all should read. I know it says rights for mothers, but she has welcomed me into her blog with open arms and understanding. She is also very supportive of me, and her other readers! A great person, who is very deserving!
  • Jerry’s/Ottoman’s Blog, A splendiferous spectacle of supernatural and superfluous soliloquies! Is a FUN blog with great attitude, that never fails to make me laugh!

I know it said 10, but sorry, I came up with who I thought most deserved it! Congratulations you all! 🙂

Tomorrow is my birthday *GASP* haha. My league is throwing me a birthday bash at Pogo.Com tomorrow night at 9:00p m err 8:00 PM (I keep forgetting my new time haha) Eastern time. If you play at Pogo, you are more than welcome to come to my bash, just add me to your friends list, my pogo name is pureg0th (a ZERO, not a O)…leave me a comment here so I can add you back, and you can follow me to the rooms we play in. IF you are not a club pogo member and want to come to my party, then let me know. I have SIX 5 day free Club Pogo passes I can give out. It will be first come, first serve AND I am not giving them out to just ANYONE, ONLY if you want to come to my party…So if you aren’t planning to do that, don’t ask me for a free pass. Heh, sorry.

I got my birthday cake from Jerilyn today, it’s SO pretty…D got me a basket of “spa” goodies…so NICE..I took pics of them and will put them on my blog tomorrow…I have other stuff coming, but they were ordered or shipped late and won’t be here tomorrow, but that’s OK, better late than never! Rusty  is also making me a Ginger Cake! YUMMMM. She will be sending it to me too! I can’t wait.

Enough typing for now. I have to shower, I have a show tonight at 9:00pm Eastern. If you want to come hear my show, I would LOVE that. Just click the HHR banner on the right in my links section, put in your requests and put your name in them so I will know you are listening!

Write more tomorrow WITH PICS!


I am back…I think! ;-)

I am getting antsy so I hope blogging and DJing will cure that. I got up on Saturday I think it was and started to clean my room and the bathroom up here (I live in an apartment with two floors), and Kevin caught me and scolded me hahaha, “Get your ass back in bed NOW.” Sure, sure Kevin. I did as he told me, but I grumbled about it. I know I shouldn’t have been doing it, because I got very weird feeling in my head afterwards, but I felt like a useless nothing just sitting here in the bed on the laptop playing Pogo. I need to feel somewhat productive, hence me starting back to DJing tonight. Cross your fingers, toes, eyes, legs and anything else you can cross that it all works out ok for me tonight 😉 .

I have to see my regular doctor tomorrrow at 1:30, then I see the neurologist about my TIA (mini-stroke) on Thursday. I also file for my disability yet AGAIN on Thursday morning at 8:45 AM. Joy, joy, getting up early and going to the SSA office is NOT my ideal morning haha, but I hope I FINALLY get it. I really pray with MedAssist helping me they will push it through and I will get my SSI this time. Again, pray, cross whatever you can, light candles, whatever. HELP me manifest this SSI. I need the money and I need the Medicaid most of all.

Ok I am tired of typing. My arms hurt, I feel dizzy, gonna rest a few before my show. It’s in an hour and 15 minutes. Good luck me.

Write more later.


Sick and tired of being sick and tired…

sickandtiredAs you know if you have read my blog, I am sick with leukemia, ESRD and spinal degeneration. My pain these days is so bad I can barely stand it. I am fighting to get into pain management so I can have at least SOME quality of life.

Well, last night I got sick, very sick, puking my brains out all night. Shaking, burning up but chilling with goosebumps all over. Hurting horribly bad around my belly button. I had surgery November 27, 2007 to repair an umbilical hernia, and sadly I think it has returned. The scariest thing about last night was the AMOUNT I puked up. I swear the first time I threw up I bet I puked at least a gallon of stuff. WHERE did it come from? I was throwing up stuff I had eaten 12-14 hours earlier. A few years ago they told me I had mild gastroparesis, that is where your stomach is partially or totally paralyzed and you can’t move the food.  They put me on Reglan, which was one of THE most horrible meds ever. It made me have facial tics, tremors, etc., and it permanently damaged me, so they had to take me off of it *SIGHS AGAIN*.  So now is the gastroparesis getting worse on top of everything else? Is my hernia back? They had to do the surgery last time because I was in the same pain as I am now, and the hernia was strangulated *SIGH*. I can’t keep doing this, I just can’t. Now I have no insurance to pay for another surgery if they have to do it. I am so sick of this shit. Isn’t the pain and illnesses I have now ENOUGH?  I can’t take having to go through this belly button pain over and over again. To be honest, I have never been the same since that dr. repaired the hernia. I have still had pain there, but nothing like what I experienced last night. I am still feeling weak, I am still nauseous and I have a show to do tonight at 8:00pm ET. Let’s just hope I don’t get sick again *SIGHS*. I am scared to eat, I don’t want to set off the pain and puking again, I might try some ice cream. I tell you, when you puke a lot like I do, you learn what foods come up easily and what to eat. I tend to stick with ice cream and j-ello. I have both in there, I think I will make some j-ello and try eating that too.

I am done typing I am weak and don’t feel good. I’ll write more later I guess. - The internets fastest growing blog directory

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