Posts Tagged ‘stress


another reason humans piss me OFF…

So I am playing at Pogo today, just TRYING to relax. They have the new Boggle game there (yes it’s the old board game Boggle, but funner haha). I am playing, enjoying myself quietly, figuring this was stimulating my brain–the chemo makes me so foggy and my memory is not what it used to be. I smile to myself and feel good because I am remembering words from dictionaries I used to read (haha yes I used to read the dictionary) and I am flying through the game (I also type 80 WPM on a good day).

You cannot chat between rounds, so you don’t give away words to people, which I think is GOOD, and I usually don’t chat anyhow.  At the end one of the games I was “MVP” and my score was 211 which is REALLY high. I got giddy and felt GOOD about myself until a few people in the chat room start saying “No way you can get that score..” and “Oh some one is using a bot”….A BOT?!?!?! I typed in  “I am human, thanks…” and continued to play, after every round they kept talking about how it sucked that some people cheated, etc., etc. It REALLY hurt my feelings, so I just left the game room and I cried.

I can’t help it that I am smart, that I am Autistic and retain things. I wasn’t cheating, I was only playing the fucking game and enjoying myself, but of course you get a few stupid humans who want to cause trouble and upset people…I wanted to type in the chat “Hey I am Autistic with an IQ of 162, don’t be pissed if  I am smarter than you.” But I didn’t. I just left. Now I am scared to go play Boggle again, no matter what game room I am in, because I don’t want to be treated like that again. IT HURTS. I’m a very nice, quiet and gentle person…I don’t start trouble, hell as I said I RARELY even chat, so please don’t start shit with me. I don’t need it!!! It’s abusive and I don’t need it!!

LOOK people. If you see someone winning and excelling at a game don’t just assume they are cheaters. I KNOW some people do cheat and that sucks, but don’t be MEAN to some one when you don’t know their story. I am sensitive and YOU HURT ME!!! I am sick, weak, going through this fucking chemo and I didn’t need that crap today..Hell I haven’t even FELT like being on pogo at all until today…..and of course it had to get RUINED.

I hate mean people, they SUCK. Just leave me ALONE!!!!



A Day Off…

Today is my one day off a week from DJing. I am very tired today so I won’t be writing much. This dialysis is really getting to me. It weakens me, I cramp, I get headaches and I tend to kind of lose my voice (weird).

3935290 I am trying to walk away from the drama of the person who recently hurt me. I am so over it and want to forget it, but “she” hurt other people and they are pretty devastated too and they keep talking about it to me on IM’s. It is wearing me out. I told them to get over it, to move on! Yes, it was painful, but we can’t just let this person ruin our lives. I hate to sound that way, but I am too sick to be stressed out like this. I need peace and quiet in my life.

Thank you Kev for doing the Honest Scrap hehe. That made me happy to see it! Now we just have to get D to do it. *evil laugh*

Is everyone ready for Christmas? I am SO not. I really don’t have money to buy anyone anything, it sucks. *SIGH* There really isn’t much I can do. I AM going to muster up the strength to do my baking and candy making though. So I CAN give some of that away as gifts in tins. 🙂 I used to get very excited for Christmas, the shopping, decorating, cooking. Now I find myself more like “Bah Humbug!!!”. I haven’t been able to buy from my children in a few years, or anyone else for that matter. So I really don’t decorate or anything anymore. This year I AM going to put up a tree for my little one and my nephew (he is 2). I want THEM to be happy. I am doing a different “take” on my tree though, I will post a picture of it after I get it up and decorated HEHEHE.

I posted a new page today, 100 Things About Me. So if you want to know more about V, then head over and read it.

I am tired now, going to stop typing. - The internets fastest growing blog directory

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